Driven by a desire for dance

HE knows all about the grace of the ballet world, learning to “speak” with his body and perfecting his steps along the way ever since he took up dance at age 13.
But until today, Raymond Chai has not learned to see the “colour” in his arts.
“I had never gone for an audition thinking that I might not get the role because I was not of the right skin colour,” Chai said of his earlier days living abroad as a dancer and actor.
Racism, he said, remained somewhat alien to him.
“I never had to play an Oriental part because the performance needed a Chinese person.”
The rare times he did play an Asian role were in Miss Saigon (Stuttgart, Germany, from 1996 till 1999), The King And I (London West End, 2000 till 2002) and Anything Goes (Royal National Theatre and the West End, 2003 till 2005).
Chai first left for London in 1978 when he got a scholarship to study ballet at the Rambert School of Ballet.
“It was a lot of hard work, dancing the whole day, but I didn’t mind. Every day I felt closer to becoming a professional dancer. I remember the teachers being very hard and expecting a lot from all of us in the class,” he recalled.
“The school was tough – if you were not up to the standard, you were out.”
Contract
Four months before he graduated in 1980, Chai was offered a place at the National Ballet of Portugal.
“I was so excited that I accepted the contract immediately and left in three days,” he said.
As the youngest in that ballet company then (he was 19), Chai said he learnt a lot during the eight years he was there doing both classical and modern repertoire.
“It was my time in Portugal that made me what I am today as a ballet teacher and choreographer.”
Chai has also lived and performed in Hamburg, Stuttgart, Zurich and Lisbon. In Lisbon, he won the top prize in the National Choreographic Competition in 1985.
In Britain, he has worked with the Royal National Theatre and the Royal Shakespeare Company.
“I’m grateful to have experienced nearly every part of the art form from classical ballet to musical theatre, to acting. And I’ve performed in opera houses for royal families and heads of state.”
At one point, the Royal Shakespeare Company was doing a production of Kiss Me Kate in which Chai became the first Asian to play a non-Asian role in the West End.
Currently Chai, who has been living in London for 13 years now, is chief ballet master of the Ballet Black Company (Britain).
He is also a lecturer in ballet technique at the London Contemporary Dance School where students come from top conservatories around the world.
“Each year, about 2,000 applicants audition for the 40 places available,” he said.
Chai is also a guest teacher at several dance companies, guiding professional dancers who have completed their training.
Looking back, Chai said his early days were tough as he had to keep up with the competition.
“In a way, things are easier now for the young people because dancing and performing are considered proper jobs. The market is also bigger,” he said.
He recalled the many auditions in which he was rejected and merely told, “Thank you very much.”
But Chai considered himself fortunate that he had never been unemployed.
“I have always had work. I never had to do something else to support myself. I have stayed in business, so to speak.”
He attributed it to being in the right place at the right time. “I am really blessed. God has played a big part in my life.”
Fong Siew Lan, his ballet teacher during his childhood days in Ipoh, deserves mention, too, as she had been instrumental in his formative training.
“She was a very good teacher. She knew I was very interested and gave me extra classes. She helped make my body limber.”
(Incidentally, Bond Girl Michelle Yeoh was also in his class.)
Chai also feels lucky that his parents never objected to him wanting to be a ballet dancer.
“I love being on stage. I have always wanted to be a ballet dancer. I already knew then that ballet wasn’t just a game for me.”
Chai comes back to Malaysia every year to visit his family. Besides, he misses the food and the sunshine.
The Malaysian arts scene, he said, seems to be thriving although he hopes there will be more training for artistes in the advanced and professional levels.
“With better training, Malaysians can be just as good as the Westerners. We are not any lesser than them.”
There must, however, be a bigger desire to succeed, he said.
His advice for youngsters who want to dance their way to a career?
“You’ve got to be committed. You should follow your heart, (even if) that may sound corny,” he said.
Fact File
NAME: Raymond Chai
AGE: 49
HOMETOWN: Ipoh, Perak
EDUCATION: SRK Methodist (ACS), SMK Methodist (ACS) Ipoh; Rambert School of Ballet, London, Britain
OCCUPATION: Ballet lecturer and choreographer
CURRENT BASE: London, Britain
YEARS ABR OAD: 32 years

A perfect getaway

Hawaii proves to be a great holiday spot, boasting culture, gorgeous scenery and plenty of activities.

She is just 20 years old but Kylie Lokahi Mattos has already clocked 16 years in hula dancing.

“I started learning the dance when I was four. These days, I love that I can play a part in keeping the culture alive,” says the pretty Hawaiian-born lass.

Mattos is part of a troupe that offers free performances on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday evenings in Hawaii’s Kuhio Beach Park, which is part of the famed Waikiki Beach in Honolulu.

Their shows start in late evenings, enabling spectators a view of the sunset while seated under an ancient banyan tree to enjoy the dance and music. Hula dancing, according to Mattos, involves a great deal of coordination and synchronisation as the dancer needs to be mindful of the way they move their hands and hips, and even their eyes.

“Most people have a great interest in watching the dance. I am glad that they can be a part of our culture,” says Mattos, a cosmetology students who dances part-time.

Hula dances aside, Honolulu offers a thrilling time for beach lovers. No stretch of any beach is considered private property. The Waikiki beach, for instance, is always crowded, never mind if it’s 2pm when the glare from the sun is considered too much for the average Asian.

Most Malaysians would remember Hawaii Five-O, the iconic American detective TV series which was shot on location in Honolulu. Other Made-in-Hawaii shows are Magnum, P.I. and Lost which was shot on the island of Oahu. But the Aloha State has other intriguing facets, too.

Get a bird’s eye view of Honolulu at the Nu’uanu Pali State Park, where according to a signboard there, even “Mark Twain once called this view the most beautiful in the world.”

Hawaii’s famous local boy is, of course, Barack Obama. The US president is immortalised as dolls in all manners, playing the ukelele on the shelves of gift shops.

One local tour company offers “Obama’s Hawaii presidential tour” at US$5. Its tagline? “Yes, We Can!”

Honolulu also boasts the world’s largest open-air shopping centre called the Ala Moana Centre which has 290 stores and restaurants. Get your fix of designer brands here.

Then there is the International Market Place which is also an open-air concept for shoppers to browse and buy from at least 100 shops, kiosks and stands selling under the sun. It is located right in the heart of Waikiki, under a magnificent banyan tree.

According to Michael Parke, a researcher who has lived here for three decades, Hawaii is one of the best examples of how different races get along with one another.

“At least 65% of children born here are of mixed parentage,” he says. “How cool is that?”

He notes that at least 35% of homes here still speak a language other than English.

Filipinos are the fastest growing ethnic group here, which probably explains why adobo sauce is so readily available at the shelves of Walmart.

Aishah Osman, a Malaysian who has lived in Hawaii for almost three years, loves being in Honolulu.

“Every day is like a vacation to me. The ocean and mountain are in my backyard. Everything is so beautiful,” she says.

Aishah, who completed a Master of Arts in Communication from Hawaii Pacific University in January, is now taking time to enjoy the place. “I’m not going home any time soon. Not until I am done with Hawaii!”

A beach person, 30-year-old Aishah says she loves outdoor activities such as swimming and snorkelling and hiking.

“I have met cool, interesting people from all over the world since I got here in 2007. It’s like a melting pot.”

It is common in Hawaii to make friends instantly, she says.

“No matter what, I feel that Hawaii has the welcoming and loving spirit like no other places. It is the Aloha spirit. I have so much love and respect for the island.”

Branded in the buff

Buckle up, there is no messing around with a singing cowboy who is firmly in the saddle with no thoughts of hanging up his boots any time soon.

ROBERT Burck has little modesty, that’s for sure. On his website, he calls himself an American legend and a New York City icon who has had photographs taken of him at a rate of about 8,000 snapshots an hour.
But he has surely earned the right to be immodest. As the Naked Cowboy of Times Square where he performs, wearing nothing but briefs and a cowboy hat, his fame was sealed once again when news about him suing a copy-cat busker was reported last month throughout the world from South Africa to New Zealand.
Burck is no ordinary busker. His “career” has grown leaps and sounds since he branded himself about 10 years ago as the Naked Cowboy.
Now, he has a manager and his Naked Cowboy Enterprises focuses on licensing stuff “from Naked Cowboy oysters to Naked Cowboy merchandising” to image licensing.And there is always hope to develop a TV show or to become a screen actor, said Todd Rubenstein, who has been Burck’s manager since 2007.
“It is now basically about staying focused on building the brand and growing its value,” he said in an e-mail.
Which explains why former stripper Sandy Kane got a a cease-and-desist letter when she persisted in busking at Times Square wearing only a bikini and a cowboy hat. It was, apparently, an infringement of the Naked Cowboy trademark.
“We have been trying, in a friendly manner, to get Sandy to participate legally when she first came on the scene about two and a half years ago,” said Rubenstein.
Kane had refused to sign a franchise agreement drawn up by the Naked Cowboy Enterprises. It is a nine-page deal which requires signatories to pay US$5,000 (RM16,100) a year or US$500 (RM1,610) a month, besides a 20% royalty fee of any appearance arranged by the company.(Kane was quoted in press reports saying that she did not owe Burck anything. “I’ve been naked for years,” she reportedly said.)
Being the Naked Cowboy, clearly, is damn serious business.
Two years ago, he sued a candy manufacturer for trademark infringement when it put up two billboards in Times Square which depicted a cartoon character in the likeness of the Naked Cowboy image.
The case was eventually settled although news reports then noted that the terms were not disclosed.
Burck, who has a degree in political science, also announced last year that he wanted to run for mayor of New York City. His campaign tagline? “Nobody has done more with less.”
But his political ambition was shortlived as he quit the race when the red tape in launching a political campaign became too overbearing for him.
According to a report in The New York Times on Sept 4 last year, a financial disclosure form which he filed as part of a campaign requirement listed his job as a “travelling entertainer” who earned an income of between US$100,000 (RM322,350) and US$250,000 (RM805,800) in 2008.
Clearly, his job has its moments.
“One time, he took a shower with two beautiful naked women in the middle of Times Square as part of a promotion,” Rubenstein said.
Asked whether Burck gets propositioned or harrassed by women, he said: “Hundreds of times per day.”
The 39-year-old Burck, however, has been “in a relationship with the same woman for five years.” She has three children.
Rubenstein noted that Burck faces occupational hazards as well in the past decade as the Naked Cowboy.
“Once, a man stopped his car in the middle of the street, jumped out, ran up to Robert, said nothing and punched him in the face.”
The Naked Cowboy also had to deal with psychopaths, jealousy and dog bites, Rubenstein said. He mentioned terrorist threats, too, likely in reference to the May 1 car bomb attempt at Times Square.
Burck, according to his website, claims to read about 50 books a year.
Asked about the best tip he had ever received, Rubenstein replied:
“Someone suggested that he read self-help author Anthony Robbins’ Unlimited Power: The New Science Of Personal Achievement.”
That book, he said, changed his life completely.
But aren’t there days when Burck doesn’t feel like coming out to sing?
“Robert Burck is Naked Cowboy every single day, for the most part,” Rubenstein said. He said Burck held firm to the 3Ds – discipline, diligence and determination.
“Every day can provide a reason not to work but those thoughts must be overcome.”
As Burck’s manager, he gets asked all the time all sorts of questions about the Naked Cowboy.
The common ones are: Does he ever leave New York? How does he do it in the winter/snow?
Is he available for (event)?
Apparent, Burck is also a registered marriage officiant which explains why his website invites couples to be married by the Naked Cowboy in ceremonies priced at US$499 (RM1,607) and above.
As for Rubenstein, he loves being Burck’s manager.
“I work with many celebrities for years. There isn’t a more unique circumstance that covers as many different opportunities as Naked Cowboy’s,” he said.
“The best part about working with Naked Cowboy is: He is the first person I’ve met that works as diligently as I do (and more so) on his career.”
Yee-hah!

Love lost and found

JOHN Bowe, a New York-based writer and journalist, spent two years scouring all corners of the United States to hear what his fellow Americans thought about romance.
He wanted to know their love stories – with “dream boats” or “train wrecks” – so all the interviewees were asked to talk about the person whom they had loved most.Backed by a team, the project began with a mass e-mail which eventually led to hundreds of conversations being recorded. The outcome was Us: Americans Talk About Love, a compilation of 44 humorous and poignant personal testimonies on love.
“There are so many good moments, funny lines, inspiring or horrible stories,” said Bowe in an e-mail interview.
Take, for instance, a feisty 80-year-old woman in New Mexico who made no bones about how she felt about Clyde, her first husband, who was a womaniser and alchoholic:
“I remember the day – this was years after we had divorced – my daughter called me and said: ‘I know you don’t care, but Clyde had a heart attack and died when he was out jogging.’ And I thought: ‘Son of a b****, I’ll never be able to run him over.’”
Then, there were the elderly Gerd and Dina Kohler who discovered each other when their spouses were having an affair together.They divorced their cheating partners, became friends, and eventually got hitched to one another. They have been married for 28 years.
“We thank (Gina’s) ex-husband every day. Actually, every year on the divorce date, we send him a thank-you note,” said Gerd, 66.
Throughout interviews like these, Bowe discovered that each person’s voice had a different music and cadence to it.“And capturing that is just as important to me as what is being said. It’s like if you write an ex-girlfriend a three-page letter saying you are over her, versus an e-mail that’s 15 words long. Three pages says you still have time for her, but 15 words say you have other things to do!”
A contributor to The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, Bowe, who has two other books to his credit, decided to jot down the love stories of Americans when his own relationship broke down.
“I had fallen in love with someone for the first time in a decade, and love was very much on my mind,” said Bowe, 45.
He had previously written about modern slavery and bad labour conditions in the United States and “wanted to do something to restore my spirits.”
His latest book was therapeutic for him.
“You get a better idea of things that work and don’t work, and when you see how many ways there are to make love work, it’s very reassuring,” he added.
But it was not an entirely easy thing to listen to Americans describe their love, longing or pain.
“When one man said that God had put a woman in his life, I had to ask: ‘Does that just mean you wanted to have sex with her, or what?’” Bowe said.
The man replied that he had wanted to have sex with different women “but with this woman, when I felt that way, it came with an intense feeling of peace.”
Love, Bowe concluded, remained a puzzle. “The only thing that matters is that you and your partner are true to your own goals.”
He learned that the couples who did well were those with a shared goal.
“The main thing is that they are pursuing a shared vision of how to live life.
“I think this sustains people more than simply relying upon one’s personality to make another person happy for a lifetime.”
Us: Americans Talk About Love has received relatively good reviews in the United States.
The New York Times ran a flattering description of Bowe, whom the report described as “a perpetual bachelor” with all the requisites of being a Mr Oh-So-Right, ripe for the picking.
Bowe was swamped by hundreds of e-mail messages when the story came out in January. Women offered to meet him or to play the matchmaker.
“I have no problem with the idea of meeting someone on the Internet. But to me, that felt strange and uncomfortable. I guess I prefer to meet people in real life,” said Bowe (whom, incidentally, is a foodie who enjoys rendang and sambal belacan.)
Most of the e-mail were, thus, left unread.
So, what does Bowe the bachelor have to say about being single in Manhattan?
“Umm ... since a large number of attractive men in New York are gay, it is very easy for bachelors, if they are not fat, to bed a lot of beautiful women,” he quipped.
However, it would be much harder for people to mate and create a life together, he said.
“The smart ones move away from the city in order to do that. Otherwise, there are too many distractions. It’s like the Internet; there’s always someone new knocking on your door.”
Bowe stressed that he was no Dr Love or Agony Aunt, despite publishing the book. “I could never pretend to be an expert on love,” he said.

Diversity is no barrier to unity

Malaysia would seem to have nothing in common with Nashville but this city of country music has hit a high note on religious diversity in a case that would resonate in any multi-racial country.

ON a cold February day, a Nashville mosque was vandalised with a chilling message “Muslims Go Home” splayed out in red paint on its wall.
It was a hate crime that shattered the community which had so far faced little trouble in this Tennessee city known for its country music.
Hell did not break loose, though.
Instead, the Somali congregation found an outpouring of support from people of all stripes – from Nashville mayor Karl Dean to the Jewish community to a lorry driver who wanted to help clean up the graffiti.
“Our mayor literally dropped everything and rushed there,” said Kasar Abdullah, who is advocacy and education director of Tennessee Immigrant & Refugee Rights Coalition.
That incident, she said, brought out the true face of the community.
“The reaction was fabulous,” she said.
“There was tremendous backing from native Nashvillians who support Muslims being here,” said Kasar, who was just six when her family fled Kurdistan and arrived in Nashville in 1996.
Nashville, which has a 600,000-strong population, has seen an influx ing of immigrants especially Muslims in the past decade. It also has the largest Kurdish community in the United States.
A graduate of Tennessee State University, Kasar who is married and has a two-year-old daughter spoke candidly to a group of Asian journalists during their visit to Nashville organised by the Honolulu-based East-West Center recently.
(The trip was part of a three-week seminar on “Bridging Gaps Between the United States and the Muslim World”.)
Kasar blamed the hate crimes on local leaders who used fear tactics, citing a politician who is running for Congress on an anti-Syariah platform and whose campaign focused on immigration and English as the official language.
Also, the media, in seeking high ratings, ran reports that caused tension among the people, she said.
“There have been numerous articles in the local media that are raising negative feelings.”
A TV channel, for instance, carried a broadcast about a Muslim community in Tennessee that was supposedly a terrorist training compound and dubbed it “Islamville”.
It subsequently found no such training camp “but the damage had been done,” said Kasar.
She also spoke about local hate groups which had held meetings and press conferences to accuse Islam of being a “religion of jihad”.
Still, Kasar loves being in the United States.
“I am glad to be here. This is where I learned what Islam really is instead of what I am expected to do by my culture,” she said.
She cited the Kurdish culture where women did not wear the hijab until they were married.
Kasar started wearing the veil after 9/11.
“There was a battle in my own family who did not want me to put it on. A lot of my Muslim friends took it off after 9/11.”
She persisted in covering her head, thinking: “I am a Muslim; I can be successful; there is freedom of choice in Islam.”
So who are the American Muslims?
Magali Rheault, Gallup Poll senior consultant, said they were the most racially diverse group in the United States.
Muslim converts
“African-Americans, mostly converts, form the biggest group (35%),” she said during a talk on “Muslim Americans: A National Portrait” in Washington DC.
The statistics were derived from a study by The Muslim West Facts Project released last year which interviewed 319,751 adults.
It found 70% of Muslim Americans reported being employed, out of which at least 30% had a professional job.
Most Muslim Americans are young, too, compared to believers of other faiths. They have the highest proportion of adults between the ages of 18 and 29.
“9/11 really put Islam on the radar screen of Americans,” Rheault said.
Asked about Muslim converts among American youths, she said: “I don’t have the research on this but I think Islam’s concept of peace and brotherhood appealed to a lot people.”
Still, an analysis on “Religious Perceptions in America” by the Gallup World Religion Survey found that 53% of Americans admitted that their opinion of Islam was either “not too favourable” or “not favourable at all”.
Most of them also said they had little knowledge of Islam and another 43% admitted to feeling at least “a little prejudice” against Muslims.
But attitudes have gradually changed over the years.
Lana Lockhart-Ezzeir, a Louisiana native who converted to Islam 22 years ago while still in college, recalled the stares when she wore the hijab back then.
“When I first became a Muslim, the hardest part was putting on the hijab. Now when you walk around here in Nashville, you would hardly get a glance for wearing one. You see the hijab all the time, in Walmart and everywhere else,” she said.
“America,” she added, “is a home of immigrants. If people tell you to go home, you can say the same thing to them.”
Things are not entirely smooth sailing, however.
Her son once came back from school and told her that his friends had remarked to him that “you’re going to hell because you don’t believe in Jesus.”
As a social worker, Lockhart-Ezzeir is now helping young Muslims acculturate through a girl scout movement in Nashville, where she and her Palestinian husband have been living since 1994.
A Somali mother, whose child is in the scout movement, said: “I don’t worry about what people think anymore. I don’t care if they think I have a machete under my veil.”
Having lived peacefully in the United States since 1974, she refused to see discrimination or stereotypes.
“If you want to find hate, that is what you would find.”
Life, indeed, has its sweet ironies.
Another Nashville mosque, which was burned in 2008, is now operating from another building that was once a church.
“About 40% of the donations given to us after the attack came from Christians, Jews and other non-Muslims,” said Daoud Abudiab, president of the Islamic Centre of Columbia.
Three men have been convicted for painting swastikas on the mosque and throwing Molotov cocktails at it. Last month, one the offenders was sentenced to 15 years’ jail.
Daoud acknowledged that there had been greater hostility since 9/11.
“But after the fire in the mosque, I received so many calls from local groups and churches denouncing the attack and encouraging us to rebuild.”
The FBI and the Government, he said, had done very well also.
“We did not see the fire as a tragedy but a good way to open up communication.”
But his relatives in Palestine and Dubai did ask him to pack up and leave.
He chose to stay.
“This is our home, our town. I feel welcomed here.”

Still, there’s no place like home

IT’S a bright morning in Brooklyn’s Bensonhurst neighbourhood but there is no place in the sun for the group of faceless men standing by the roadside, waiting for work that isn’t coming any time soon.
For these illegal immigrants, congregating at street corners is a daily ritual of hope and despair as they wait for prospective employers who want temporary or day labourers.
The minute a van stops, they would scramble towards it, pleading: “Take me! Take me!”
Their English limited, most of them would grab any jobs that are thrown their way.
“They would be there waiting every day, whether in winter or summer,” a Brooklyn resident observed. “Sometimes you wonder whether their lives are any worse back home.”
Life is a battlefield for them. For those who are employed, it isn’t uncommon for them to hold two jobs, working seven days a week, like Jose M., who juggles his time waiting on tables in two restaurants.
He cycles to work, rain or shine, a journey that takes 45 minutes. Once, a road accident put him out of action for about a week but he did not seek medical help since he was without health insurance.
The Centre for Immigration Studies has found that one in eight people in the US is an immigrant. The undocumented ones numbered about 11 million last year.
Most of the recent immigrants came from Mexico. Official statistics show that 64% of Hispanic-origin people in the US have a Mexican background.
(At 15% of the US population, the Hispanics are the largest minority group in the US. Mexico is the only country which has a larger Hispanic population than the US.)
In 2007, Mexicans who worked in the US remitted about US$24bil (RM89bil) to their families back home.
But a chat with Mexicans on their home soil found that they do not necessarily see this as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
“We depend too much on America,” said Ricardo Salazar, a tour guide for the past decade in Mexico City, the sprawling capital that is inhabited by 20 million people.
Still, he understood why his fellow countrymen opted to seek their fortunes in their neighbouring nation.
“A factory job in Mexico City offers just about 2,000 pesos (RM494) a month,” he said, “so they prefer to work at construction sites in America where the hourly wages are better.” These workers, he said, would save up and send money to their loved ones so that they could own a house upon returning home.
He would not want to work in the US, though. “It’s a racist country,” he said, “and it isn’t easy to get a visa.”
He prefers his chilli-loving Mexico. “We start eating chillies at the age of two,” he smiled. “My stomach is very strong.”
Mexico is not a poor country, according to Geraldo Ramirez Escobar, who works at a public information kiosk near Chapultepec Park.
“There is a lot of money here,” he said in halting English, “but the blame lies with the leaders and politicians.”
Most people, he said, found it difficult to secure jobs in the city.
Escobar counts himself lucky. An economics graduate in 2006, he got his current position (“my first formal job”) not too long ago.
Most employers, he said, preferred people with working experience. “But how can I have experience if they don’t start hiring me?”
Escobar said he had plans for his future, perhaps starting projects that would help his fellow citizens. “I still have a lot of hope for Mexico,” he said.
Joel Rocha, his co-worker, was also not too keen on the Promised Land. “It’s just another country. To me, there is no First World, no Third World.”
Neither was he swept away by US president Barack Obama, whose inauguration, according to news reports, was watched by countless people in Mexico City, some shedding tears.
“I don’t know much about him. He is not my president. All I know about him is what I read in the papers or watch on TV,” he said. “But I do hope he will make a difference.”
Others such as A. Martinez decided to say “hola” to Mexico again after 20 years slogging it out in California, the Golden State that is home to 13 million Hispanics.
Now 50-plus and fluent in English, Martinez is often summoned by his boss to take care of the non-Spanish speaking diners who come to the restaurant where he works.
Why did he decide to pack his bags and head back home?
“Why?” he asked in return, appearing somewhat incredulous that the question should be asked at all.
“I love Mexico,” he said simply. “This is my country.”

This is Yee Ping’s last story from New York. She is now back at our Petaling Jaya office.

You are never lonely

FRED Ng is a bachelor who has lived in New York for almost four years. A Singaporean transferred by his financial services company to work in Manhattan, Ng, 31, loves going out for coffee with his friends and enjoys solitary walks in the park during his days off.
He stays in a small studio apartment in downtown Manhattan, all by himself.
But Ng isn’t alone as he has 31 million people for company. That is the number of people who live alone in the United States, according to a 2007 survey by the US Census Bureau.
Even in crowded and sometimes claustrophobic New York City where people are everywhere, statistics from the Department of City Planning showed that one out of every two apartments in Manhattan is occupied by just one individual.
But don’t start playing Are You Lonesome Tonight to folks like Ng.
Manhatttan, according to New York magazine, is the capital of people living by themselves. The magazine ran a cover story on “The Loneliness Myth” two months ago, quoting studies which showed that New York is among “the least lonely places on earth”.
This metropolitan of eight million inhabitants is on Forbes’ list of Best Cities for Singles, ranking Number 8 out of 40.
Its nightlife is unmatched, according to Forbes, besides its cool factor. But the unbearable cost of living pushed it out as head of the class. (Atlanta is tops, by the way).
The culturally diverse New York, according to Ng, offers wide opportunities to meet people and make friends.
“People who feel alienated here are probably shy or haven’t met the right clique yet,” he said. “Life in the city lacks a sense of community that you find in a small town.”
For the timid ones, New York is daunting.
“New Yorkers tend to be rather loud with a in-your-face attitude. They lack patience if they feel that people are wasting their time in things they don’t care about,” Ng said.
Heidi Smith, a 20-something Californian who moved to New York several months ago, said Gotham would intimidate those without a good support system.
“For me, I am worried about slipping on ice and breaking my leg,” she quipped, referring to the snowy days in New York.
Smith, who teaches in an elementary school, said her friends felt she was crazy to move to New York as the weather was harsher in the Empire State.
“But people here are nice, though I would like to think that Californians are very friendly. Over there, people would get more angry if you are rude to them.”
New York, she said, could be both scary and fun for outsiders.
However, Smith does not intend to stay in New York for the long term. “That’s not my plan. There are other places that I want to live in.”
During Unmarried and Single Americans Week from Sept 21 to 28 last year, the Census Bureau released facts and figures which showed that there were 92 million unmarried Americans aged 18 and older in 2006.
Another batch of numbers in 2004 indicated that 50% of adults in New York are unmarried, the highest among all the states.
Ng, for example, is a staunch believer that New York is a great place for singles.
“There are all sorts of venues for meeting other people, no matter what type of personality you may have,” he said.
“For example, the clubbing scene is always vibrant for party-goers, and there are world-class institutions for the culturally-inclined such as the Metropolitan Museum of Art.”
Speed dating is available for people of all stripes whether single professionals, Jewish, Muslims or Christians. Here in hurry, hurry New York, there are even events called Date and Dash Speed Dating Party.
On New Year’s Eve, there was the gay and lesbian black tie royal ball.
Ng, however, described himself as an introvert who preferred solitude.
His American colleagues are fantastic. “I have a good rapport and working relationship with them, but I don’t usually hang out with them.”
He loves the bookstores and the countless cafes in the city. “I mostly confine myself within the Buddhist circle,” he said.
“I won’t call myself a social butterfly,” he joked, “but people tend to think that the singles here are party goers who come home drunk at 2am, if they come back to their own homes at all.”
Another misconception, he said, was that Americans would “sleep with anything that moves”.
“I don’t miss not being part of the wild side,” he said. “It was never my scene.”
Besides his full-time IT support job, Ng is taking up a course on Information Systems Management at New York University.
That leaves almost no time for dating. “With my work and part-time study at NYU, the only dates I go for are the ones in Whole Foods Market. They are all organic, so it is a healthy relationship,” he said in jest.
What does he do when the occasional loneliness creeps in?
“I either hit the gym or go for long walks in the parks or along the Hudson River. Sometimes I harass my friends to go out,” he said. “If loneliness hits me hard enough, I lapse into a coma.”