IT WAS the sound of silence no more. The estranged wife of a gay politician has finally spoken up to tell her side of the story, almost three years after she stood by his side when he publicly emerged from the closet.
Dina Matos McGreevey has broken her silence and is now busy appearing on talk shows and at bookstores to promote her tell-all book Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage in which she speaks of how she “stopped cold” when then New Jersey governor James McGreevey made the now infamous line: “My truth is that I am a gay American.”
Last week, the 40-year-old Dina was composed when she took questions from the crowd who turned up at a Manhattan bookstore to see her; the woman whose life was forever altered when she found out the truth about her high-profile husband.
“I had not wanted to write this book. I wanted to lead a quiet life. But I decided to write it when other people began to tell my story inaccurately. That’s when I decided to do it for myself and for my daughter who would one day read it,” said Dina, referring to her five-year-old Jacqueline.
She also explained why she decided to appear with him at the press conference that fateful Aug 12, 2004 when he disclosed his homosexuality and quit the governor's post.
“I don’t want my daughter to ask me one day why I wasn’t by his side. Besides, love doesn’t evaporate overnight. It is not like turning off the switch immediately when someone does something wrong.”
She described it as her “day of infamy” and that he had asked her to be at the press conference, telling her she must not cry. The brief speech he made then was like a knife piercing her heart, she said.
Now, her scorn for him is evident.
Asked if she had read The Confession, his autobiography which came out last year, Dina replied: “Yes, I read it. It was another typical Jim McGreevey performance. Fiction.”
As for news reports that he was now taking up a course to become an Episcopalian priest, Dina laughed. Sniggered, rather.
“How do I say this in a diplomatic way? To be a leader, you need a moral compass. I certainly won’t look to him for spiritual guidance.”
Dina often maintained that she was clueless about Jim’s sexual orientation prior to their marriage. “He himself acknowledged earlier that I did not know about it, but now he is changing his tune.”
She said she had often considered herself a good judge of character but “he turned out to be somebody I didn’t know.”
Still, how could she not have known?
“Sometimes, people have no clue. It was the same with me. All of a sudden, your world comes crumbling down. I married him because I loved him. I would not have married him if I had known he was gay,” she said.
As for her in-laws, she said they were just as shocked as she was.
“It was painful for them to see the unfolding events. They don’t condone what he has done, but he is their son and they love him.”
However, she conceded that Jim was a good father. “She (Jacqueline) loves him. My goal is to ensure she has a good relationship with her father.”
According to Dina, she was trying to keep a civilised relationship with him, but it was very difficult. The couple are now in the midst of divorce, their bickering becoming public again as both parties clash over their personal lives and their daughter’s upbringing.
Dina recounted in her book that even Hillary Clinton called her at one time to provide words of comfort.
“She was very compassionate. She asked how I was doing and warned me not to let Jim’s advisers make decisions for me, because they would have Jim’s best interests in mind rather than mine,” Dina wrote.
“I thanked Hillary for her counsel and her time. Her story was similar to mine in how publicly her husband had humiliated her with his adultery. But our circumstances were also different. Her marriage had not been based on a lie, as mine was.”
Asked about her views on men, she said it was going to be a long road.
“As for love, I’m not there yet either. In the last two and a half years, I’ve had a few dates, but nothing serious or sustained,” she wrote.
“I want to be able to forgive, but I’m just not there yet.”
