TIPPING. It’s a time-honoured ritual and sacred practice in the United States, and breakers of the rule are doomed to end up as social pariahs. Especially so in restaurants where waiters do not fade gently into the kitchen.
As waiter-turned-writer Steve Dublanica, 40, explains it, waiting on tables is a tough, low-paying job, and wait staff rely on the 15%-20% tips for life-support.
“You’re expected to be a food-allergy specialist, cellphone rule enforcer, eye candy and joke teller,” he says.
Once, a man and a woman spent way too long together inside a toilet. Other diners waited impatiently for their turn, so Dublanica had to knock on the door to check on the couple.
“When did making people stop having sex become part of my job?” he wonders.
Another time he stepped in to rescue a man who was choking on his food. The guy lived, but left Dublanica livid with anger. That customer, who turned out to be a doctor, left him a mere 8% tip.
“Next time, I would let him die!” he fumes in his book, Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip - Confessions of a Cynical Waiter, which made its debut on July 29.
The book, which spells out in detail waiters’ revenge on nasty customers, and tips on tipping, has earned the former waiter quite a bit of public attention.
This newfound fame was unbelievable for Dublanica himself, who spent nine years working in New York restaurants and, in 2004, started a blog to chronicle his misadventures.
“I’m overwhelmed and grateful for the response to my book. If you had told me a week ago that I’d be on the Today show, I would say you were smoking some kind of illegal substance,” he says in an e-mail interview.
These days, he is often asked whether waiters really spit into the food to spite rude customers.
“Actually, very few waiters do it,” he admits. “There are far more elegant ways to get revenge – like telling someone that their credit card has been declined when it really hasn’t.”
“But, it’s okay for diners to think we might spit in their food. Deterring bad customer behaviour through fear is fine by me.”
According to him, waiters in the US are not paid a salary. In New York, tipped workers are paid US$4.60 (RM15.20) an hour, way below the minimum wage of US$7.15 an hour. The tips they earn are also shared among bartenders, busboys and the rest of the staff.
Dublanica stresses that he's always been a good tipper, even before he became a waiter.
“My brother has been in the food business for a long time, even before I waited on tables. He made sure I was aware the tip is 15% to 20%. Now, after all the attention Waiter Rant’s been receiving, if I leave less than a 20% tip I’ll burst into flames!” he says.
According to Waiter Rant, foreigners tend to feign ignorance about the American tipping practice. The worst, apparently, are the Russians and British.
Other categories of tippers include:
> The 10 per center: Diners, usually the old folk, who still think it's the 1950s, and leave a 10% tip;
> The flat tipper: Spill hot soup on them or treat them like royals, their tip is still 15%; and
> The whore: Pretty women who think flirting with the waiter is considered a tip.
In addition to the humour, Dublanica provides some insights into the risque goings-on in the restaurant – about conflicts between waiters and cooks, and how they trade insults.
His book also offers snapshots on life: cheating spouses often go to restaurants at odd hours, New Year's Eve is the best night of the year to make money, and filthy toilets are often an indication of unhygienic kitchens.
What’s next from this ex-waiter who, as a teenager, wanted to become a priest?
“I’m a big detective fiction fan, so maybe I will write a book about a food critic marked for death, or a former waiter turned private detective who saves his pancetta!”
