Love lost and found

JOHN Bowe, a New York-based writer and journalist, spent two years scouring all corners of the United States to hear what his fellow Americans thought about romance.
He wanted to know their love stories – with “dream boats” or “train wrecks” – so all the interviewees were asked to talk about the person whom they had loved most.Backed by a team, the project began with a mass e-mail which eventually led to hundreds of conversations being recorded. The outcome was Us: Americans Talk About Love, a compilation of 44 humorous and poignant personal testimonies on love.
“There are so many good moments, funny lines, inspiring or horrible stories,” said Bowe in an e-mail interview.
Take, for instance, a feisty 80-year-old woman in New Mexico who made no bones about how she felt about Clyde, her first husband, who was a womaniser and alchoholic:
“I remember the day – this was years after we had divorced – my daughter called me and said: ‘I know you don’t care, but Clyde had a heart attack and died when he was out jogging.’ And I thought: ‘Son of a b****, I’ll never be able to run him over.’”
Then, there were the elderly Gerd and Dina Kohler who discovered each other when their spouses were having an affair together.They divorced their cheating partners, became friends, and eventually got hitched to one another. They have been married for 28 years.
“We thank (Gina’s) ex-husband every day. Actually, every year on the divorce date, we send him a thank-you note,” said Gerd, 66.
Throughout interviews like these, Bowe discovered that each person’s voice had a different music and cadence to it.“And capturing that is just as important to me as what is being said. It’s like if you write an ex-girlfriend a three-page letter saying you are over her, versus an e-mail that’s 15 words long. Three pages says you still have time for her, but 15 words say you have other things to do!”
A contributor to The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, Bowe, who has two other books to his credit, decided to jot down the love stories of Americans when his own relationship broke down.
“I had fallen in love with someone for the first time in a decade, and love was very much on my mind,” said Bowe, 45.
He had previously written about modern slavery and bad labour conditions in the United States and “wanted to do something to restore my spirits.”
His latest book was therapeutic for him.
“You get a better idea of things that work and don’t work, and when you see how many ways there are to make love work, it’s very reassuring,” he added.
But it was not an entirely easy thing to listen to Americans describe their love, longing or pain.
“When one man said that God had put a woman in his life, I had to ask: ‘Does that just mean you wanted to have sex with her, or what?’” Bowe said.
The man replied that he had wanted to have sex with different women “but with this woman, when I felt that way, it came with an intense feeling of peace.”
Love, Bowe concluded, remained a puzzle. “The only thing that matters is that you and your partner are true to your own goals.”
He learned that the couples who did well were those with a shared goal.
“The main thing is that they are pursuing a shared vision of how to live life.
“I think this sustains people more than simply relying upon one’s personality to make another person happy for a lifetime.”
Us: Americans Talk About Love has received relatively good reviews in the United States.
The New York Times ran a flattering description of Bowe, whom the report described as “a perpetual bachelor” with all the requisites of being a Mr Oh-So-Right, ripe for the picking.
Bowe was swamped by hundreds of e-mail messages when the story came out in January. Women offered to meet him or to play the matchmaker.
“I have no problem with the idea of meeting someone on the Internet. But to me, that felt strange and uncomfortable. I guess I prefer to meet people in real life,” said Bowe (whom, incidentally, is a foodie who enjoys rendang and sambal belacan.)
Most of the e-mail were, thus, left unread.
So, what does Bowe the bachelor have to say about being single in Manhattan?
“Umm ... since a large number of attractive men in New York are gay, it is very easy for bachelors, if they are not fat, to bed a lot of beautiful women,” he quipped.
However, it would be much harder for people to mate and create a life together, he said.
“The smart ones move away from the city in order to do that. Otherwise, there are too many distractions. It’s like the Internet; there’s always someone new knocking on your door.”
Bowe stressed that he was no Dr Love or Agony Aunt, despite publishing the book. “I could never pretend to be an expert on love,” he said.

Diversity is no barrier to unity

Malaysia would seem to have nothing in common with Nashville but this city of country music has hit a high note on religious diversity in a case that would resonate in any multi-racial country.

ON a cold February day, a Nashville mosque was vandalised with a chilling message “Muslims Go Home” splayed out in red paint on its wall.
It was a hate crime that shattered the community which had so far faced little trouble in this Tennessee city known for its country music.
Hell did not break loose, though.
Instead, the Somali congregation found an outpouring of support from people of all stripes – from Nashville mayor Karl Dean to the Jewish community to a lorry driver who wanted to help clean up the graffiti.
“Our mayor literally dropped everything and rushed there,” said Kasar Abdullah, who is advocacy and education director of Tennessee Immigrant & Refugee Rights Coalition.
That incident, she said, brought out the true face of the community.
“The reaction was fabulous,” she said.
“There was tremendous backing from native Nashvillians who support Muslims being here,” said Kasar, who was just six when her family fled Kurdistan and arrived in Nashville in 1996.
Nashville, which has a 600,000-strong population, has seen an influx ing of immigrants especially Muslims in the past decade. It also has the largest Kurdish community in the United States.
A graduate of Tennessee State University, Kasar who is married and has a two-year-old daughter spoke candidly to a group of Asian journalists during their visit to Nashville organised by the Honolulu-based East-West Center recently.
(The trip was part of a three-week seminar on “Bridging Gaps Between the United States and the Muslim World”.)
Kasar blamed the hate crimes on local leaders who used fear tactics, citing a politician who is running for Congress on an anti-Syariah platform and whose campaign focused on immigration and English as the official language.
Also, the media, in seeking high ratings, ran reports that caused tension among the people, she said.
“There have been numerous articles in the local media that are raising negative feelings.”
A TV channel, for instance, carried a broadcast about a Muslim community in Tennessee that was supposedly a terrorist training compound and dubbed it “Islamville”.
It subsequently found no such training camp “but the damage had been done,” said Kasar.
She also spoke about local hate groups which had held meetings and press conferences to accuse Islam of being a “religion of jihad”.
Still, Kasar loves being in the United States.
“I am glad to be here. This is where I learned what Islam really is instead of what I am expected to do by my culture,” she said.
She cited the Kurdish culture where women did not wear the hijab until they were married.
Kasar started wearing the veil after 9/11.
“There was a battle in my own family who did not want me to put it on. A lot of my Muslim friends took it off after 9/11.”
She persisted in covering her head, thinking: “I am a Muslim; I can be successful; there is freedom of choice in Islam.”
So who are the American Muslims?
Magali Rheault, Gallup Poll senior consultant, said they were the most racially diverse group in the United States.
Muslim converts
“African-Americans, mostly converts, form the biggest group (35%),” she said during a talk on “Muslim Americans: A National Portrait” in Washington DC.
The statistics were derived from a study by The Muslim West Facts Project released last year which interviewed 319,751 adults.
It found 70% of Muslim Americans reported being employed, out of which at least 30% had a professional job.
Most Muslim Americans are young, too, compared to believers of other faiths. They have the highest proportion of adults between the ages of 18 and 29.
“9/11 really put Islam on the radar screen of Americans,” Rheault said.
Asked about Muslim converts among American youths, she said: “I don’t have the research on this but I think Islam’s concept of peace and brotherhood appealed to a lot people.”
Still, an analysis on “Religious Perceptions in America” by the Gallup World Religion Survey found that 53% of Americans admitted that their opinion of Islam was either “not too favourable” or “not favourable at all”.
Most of them also said they had little knowledge of Islam and another 43% admitted to feeling at least “a little prejudice” against Muslims.
But attitudes have gradually changed over the years.
Lana Lockhart-Ezzeir, a Louisiana native who converted to Islam 22 years ago while still in college, recalled the stares when she wore the hijab back then.
“When I first became a Muslim, the hardest part was putting on the hijab. Now when you walk around here in Nashville, you would hardly get a glance for wearing one. You see the hijab all the time, in Walmart and everywhere else,” she said.
“America,” she added, “is a home of immigrants. If people tell you to go home, you can say the same thing to them.”
Things are not entirely smooth sailing, however.
Her son once came back from school and told her that his friends had remarked to him that “you’re going to hell because you don’t believe in Jesus.”
As a social worker, Lockhart-Ezzeir is now helping young Muslims acculturate through a girl scout movement in Nashville, where she and her Palestinian husband have been living since 1994.
A Somali mother, whose child is in the scout movement, said: “I don’t worry about what people think anymore. I don’t care if they think I have a machete under my veil.”
Having lived peacefully in the United States since 1974, she refused to see discrimination or stereotypes.
“If you want to find hate, that is what you would find.”
Life, indeed, has its sweet ironies.
Another Nashville mosque, which was burned in 2008, is now operating from another building that was once a church.
“About 40% of the donations given to us after the attack came from Christians, Jews and other non-Muslims,” said Daoud Abudiab, president of the Islamic Centre of Columbia.
Three men have been convicted for painting swastikas on the mosque and throwing Molotov cocktails at it. Last month, one the offenders was sentenced to 15 years’ jail.
Daoud acknowledged that there had been greater hostility since 9/11.
“But after the fire in the mosque, I received so many calls from local groups and churches denouncing the attack and encouraging us to rebuild.”
The FBI and the Government, he said, had done very well also.
“We did not see the fire as a tragedy but a good way to open up communication.”
But his relatives in Palestine and Dubai did ask him to pack up and leave.
He chose to stay.
“This is our home, our town. I feel welcomed here.”

Still, there’s no place like home

IT’S a bright morning in Brooklyn’s Bensonhurst neighbourhood but there is no place in the sun for the group of faceless men standing by the roadside, waiting for work that isn’t coming any time soon.
For these illegal immigrants, congregating at street corners is a daily ritual of hope and despair as they wait for prospective employers who want temporary or day labourers.
The minute a van stops, they would scramble towards it, pleading: “Take me! Take me!”
Their English limited, most of them would grab any jobs that are thrown their way.
“They would be there waiting every day, whether in winter or summer,” a Brooklyn resident observed. “Sometimes you wonder whether their lives are any worse back home.”
Life is a battlefield for them. For those who are employed, it isn’t uncommon for them to hold two jobs, working seven days a week, like Jose M., who juggles his time waiting on tables in two restaurants.
He cycles to work, rain or shine, a journey that takes 45 minutes. Once, a road accident put him out of action for about a week but he did not seek medical help since he was without health insurance.
The Centre for Immigration Studies has found that one in eight people in the US is an immigrant. The undocumented ones numbered about 11 million last year.
Most of the recent immigrants came from Mexico. Official statistics show that 64% of Hispanic-origin people in the US have a Mexican background.
(At 15% of the US population, the Hispanics are the largest minority group in the US. Mexico is the only country which has a larger Hispanic population than the US.)
In 2007, Mexicans who worked in the US remitted about US$24bil (RM89bil) to their families back home.
But a chat with Mexicans on their home soil found that they do not necessarily see this as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
“We depend too much on America,” said Ricardo Salazar, a tour guide for the past decade in Mexico City, the sprawling capital that is inhabited by 20 million people.
Still, he understood why his fellow countrymen opted to seek their fortunes in their neighbouring nation.
“A factory job in Mexico City offers just about 2,000 pesos (RM494) a month,” he said, “so they prefer to work at construction sites in America where the hourly wages are better.” These workers, he said, would save up and send money to their loved ones so that they could own a house upon returning home.
He would not want to work in the US, though. “It’s a racist country,” he said, “and it isn’t easy to get a visa.”
He prefers his chilli-loving Mexico. “We start eating chillies at the age of two,” he smiled. “My stomach is very strong.”
Mexico is not a poor country, according to Geraldo Ramirez Escobar, who works at a public information kiosk near Chapultepec Park.
“There is a lot of money here,” he said in halting English, “but the blame lies with the leaders and politicians.”
Most people, he said, found it difficult to secure jobs in the city.
Escobar counts himself lucky. An economics graduate in 2006, he got his current position (“my first formal job”) not too long ago.
Most employers, he said, preferred people with working experience. “But how can I have experience if they don’t start hiring me?”
Escobar said he had plans for his future, perhaps starting projects that would help his fellow citizens. “I still have a lot of hope for Mexico,” he said.
Joel Rocha, his co-worker, was also not too keen on the Promised Land. “It’s just another country. To me, there is no First World, no Third World.”
Neither was he swept away by US president Barack Obama, whose inauguration, according to news reports, was watched by countless people in Mexico City, some shedding tears.
“I don’t know much about him. He is not my president. All I know about him is what I read in the papers or watch on TV,” he said. “But I do hope he will make a difference.”
Others such as A. Martinez decided to say “hola” to Mexico again after 20 years slogging it out in California, the Golden State that is home to 13 million Hispanics.
Now 50-plus and fluent in English, Martinez is often summoned by his boss to take care of the non-Spanish speaking diners who come to the restaurant where he works.
Why did he decide to pack his bags and head back home?
“Why?” he asked in return, appearing somewhat incredulous that the question should be asked at all.
“I love Mexico,” he said simply. “This is my country.”

This is Yee Ping’s last story from New York. She is now back at our Petaling Jaya office.

You are never lonely

FRED Ng is a bachelor who has lived in New York for almost four years. A Singaporean transferred by his financial services company to work in Manhattan, Ng, 31, loves going out for coffee with his friends and enjoys solitary walks in the park during his days off.
He stays in a small studio apartment in downtown Manhattan, all by himself.
But Ng isn’t alone as he has 31 million people for company. That is the number of people who live alone in the United States, according to a 2007 survey by the US Census Bureau.
Even in crowded and sometimes claustrophobic New York City where people are everywhere, statistics from the Department of City Planning showed that one out of every two apartments in Manhattan is occupied by just one individual.
But don’t start playing Are You Lonesome Tonight to folks like Ng.
Manhatttan, according to New York magazine, is the capital of people living by themselves. The magazine ran a cover story on “The Loneliness Myth” two months ago, quoting studies which showed that New York is among “the least lonely places on earth”.
This metropolitan of eight million inhabitants is on Forbes’ list of Best Cities for Singles, ranking Number 8 out of 40.
Its nightlife is unmatched, according to Forbes, besides its cool factor. But the unbearable cost of living pushed it out as head of the class. (Atlanta is tops, by the way).
The culturally diverse New York, according to Ng, offers wide opportunities to meet people and make friends.
“People who feel alienated here are probably shy or haven’t met the right clique yet,” he said. “Life in the city lacks a sense of community that you find in a small town.”
For the timid ones, New York is daunting.
“New Yorkers tend to be rather loud with a in-your-face attitude. They lack patience if they feel that people are wasting their time in things they don’t care about,” Ng said.
Heidi Smith, a 20-something Californian who moved to New York several months ago, said Gotham would intimidate those without a good support system.
“For me, I am worried about slipping on ice and breaking my leg,” she quipped, referring to the snowy days in New York.
Smith, who teaches in an elementary school, said her friends felt she was crazy to move to New York as the weather was harsher in the Empire State.
“But people here are nice, though I would like to think that Californians are very friendly. Over there, people would get more angry if you are rude to them.”
New York, she said, could be both scary and fun for outsiders.
However, Smith does not intend to stay in New York for the long term. “That’s not my plan. There are other places that I want to live in.”
During Unmarried and Single Americans Week from Sept 21 to 28 last year, the Census Bureau released facts and figures which showed that there were 92 million unmarried Americans aged 18 and older in 2006.
Another batch of numbers in 2004 indicated that 50% of adults in New York are unmarried, the highest among all the states.
Ng, for example, is a staunch believer that New York is a great place for singles.
“There are all sorts of venues for meeting other people, no matter what type of personality you may have,” he said.
“For example, the clubbing scene is always vibrant for party-goers, and there are world-class institutions for the culturally-inclined such as the Metropolitan Museum of Art.”
Speed dating is available for people of all stripes whether single professionals, Jewish, Muslims or Christians. Here in hurry, hurry New York, there are even events called Date and Dash Speed Dating Party.
On New Year’s Eve, there was the gay and lesbian black tie royal ball.
Ng, however, described himself as an introvert who preferred solitude.
His American colleagues are fantastic. “I have a good rapport and working relationship with them, but I don’t usually hang out with them.”
He loves the bookstores and the countless cafes in the city. “I mostly confine myself within the Buddhist circle,” he said.
“I won’t call myself a social butterfly,” he joked, “but people tend to think that the singles here are party goers who come home drunk at 2am, if they come back to their own homes at all.”
Another misconception, he said, was that Americans would “sleep with anything that moves”.
“I don’t miss not being part of the wild side,” he said. “It was never my scene.”
Besides his full-time IT support job, Ng is taking up a course on Information Systems Management at New York University.
That leaves almost no time for dating. “With my work and part-time study at NYU, the only dates I go for are the ones in Whole Foods Market. They are all organic, so it is a healthy relationship,” he said in jest.
What does he do when the occasional loneliness creeps in?
“I either hit the gym or go for long walks in the parks or along the Hudson River. Sometimes I harass my friends to go out,” he said. “If loneliness hits me hard enough, I lapse into a coma.”

Big Apple woos the lovestruck

THE King has been forewarned. New York is sounding the warning bells to Las Vegas as it seeks to become the prime wedding destination of the world, dethroning Sin City famous for its Elvis weddings.
The Manhattan Marriage Bureau went through a US$12mil (RM43mil) overhaul to provide speedy and friendly service to couples applying for marriage licences.
It opened last month at a new location with a much larger space. Facilities include 14 computer kiosks for online applications, chapel space and a store that sells flowers, disposable cameras and wedding bands.
Applicants are also able to communicate with clerks on a telephone interpretation system that offers a choice of 170 languages.
(A US census a decade ago found that English is not the main language spoken in almost 50% of New York City households. It is estimated that 170 foreign languages are spoken in the Big Apple).
But stars such as Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Bruce Willis, Carmen Electra and even Elvis, the King of Rock and Roll, have all exchanged vows in Las Vegas, so why shouldn’t you?
“Think of New York City as the classier version of eloping to Las Vegas,” said Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of The Knot (theknot.com), a popular online reference for couples searching for wedding planning solutions.
The Knot is linking hands with the city’s marketing arm to draw up wedding packages for couples intending to get hitched at the bureau.
“It is already one of the world’s most exciting, romantic destinations,” she said in an email interview.
“Tie the knot at the new marriage bureau here, and you will be on your honeymoon by the time you say ‘I do’!”
The Manhattan Marriage Bureau, located at 141 Worth Street in Lower Manhattan, opened its doors on Jan 12.
“New York City is already a legendary location to tie the knot, but this new location will give customers an even better, smoother experience that is more enjoyable and more memorable,” said First Deputy Mayor Patricia E. Harris, who was in charge of the renovations.
Las Vegas, however, has an edge over the city which supposedly never sleeps.
The Las Vegas Downtown Office Marriage Bureau opens daily including holidays from 8am to midnight, a great convenience for couples who develop a sudden urge for that piece of paper.
Statistics show that New York City issued just about 66,600 marriage licences in 2007 compared with 107,000 given out in Nevada’s Clark County, which includes Las Vegas.
But that number, according to the local Fox5 News in Las Vegas, was the lowest in a decade.
“Some people blame the marriage licensing office for not being open 24 hours. Another reason is the negative publicity the industry has received over the past few months.”
What’s bad news to Vegas is good news to New York, which is home to the Empire State Building, the great symbol of love for those swept up by Cary Grant’s An Affair To Remember.
In fact, the current economic meltdown has not stopped couples from toasting to love.
“Brides are still planning glamourous weddings, although they are being very smart about how they spend every penny,” Dolgin said.
The average cost of an American wedding is US$28,000 (RM101,000) but Dolgin said that many of the year’s top trends reflected new, chic ways to save on the big occasion.
“For example, there is the do-it-yourself (DIY) wedding details,” she said. “The spend-savvy bride is the smart bride. The crafty bride is even smarter.
“Using amazing resources all over the Internet, brides are making their own bouquets, save-the-dates, wedding programmes, seating charts and more.
“And when they can’t DIY, they head to Etsy.com for deals from other DIYers.” Etsy is an online marketplace for all things handmade.
According to Dolgin, The Knot has detected two trends in wedding receptions.
For one, “green weddings” are getting glamourous and more affordable, naturally.
This would mean Internet invitations (paper free), besides serving food and using flowers that are in season.
“These wedding trends are not only eco-chic, but also easier on the budget,” she said.
Another trend, she said, was opting for small, romantic ceremonies.
“Up the romance and drop the tab,” she said.
“Have your ceremony with only your nearest and dearest and save your money for the reception.”
“You can get hitched for just US$60 (RM217) [US$35 (RM126) to obtain the licence and US$25 (RM90) fee for the civil marriage ceremony].
“Then throw a raucous yet less-expensive-than-a-full-blown-reception cocktail party later in the year.”

Tearing into Wall Street

WHILE President Barack Obama stewed over Wall Street’s US$18bil (RM65bil) bonuses, the average American has long felt nothing but scorn for what is largely considered the source of the people’s misery.
A California-based company has been marketing T-shirts with messages such as “Investment Bankers – The New Al-Qaeda” and “Wall Street – Weapon of Mass Destruction”.
Its website, zazzle.com, also says: “Mr Obama, tear down this Wall $treet”.
Another website sells T-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination: “I Hate Investment Banking”.
These days, “I Hate Wall Street” T-shirts are the rage and the public anger isn’t fading away any time soon.
Fact to chew on: median household income in the US is less than half the average Wall Street bonus of US$112,000.
American consumers have lost their swagger; their unbridled spending is history now.
Frugality is in. The despair of losing their jobs is among the factors that drove the rate of personal savings the past few months to its highest level in six years.
The news gets gloomier by the day.
It has been a rocky ride into the Year of the Ox as US companies cut at least 100,000 jobs last week; and Macy’s, which prides itself as the world’s largest store, laid off 7,000 employees.
Macy’s, however, is largely middle-class America. The swanky stores such as Bergdorf Goodman tell of a different kind of belt-tightening.
“I’m switching from having my facials and massages in a wine-serving yoga spa to a been-in-business-forever place that only old people and gay men go to,” said a 40-something woman, known only as Cathy.
“I’ll do it once every six weeks instead of monthly, and it is one-third the price of the facials at the spa.”
Cathy made the public admission through a blog called Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA), which is devoted to women whose relationships have been affected by the economic slump.
“Are you or someone you love dating a banker? If so, we are here to support you through these difficult times,” DABA (www.dabagirls.com) says in its introduction.
DABA, in essence, is a place for “women who like to date successful men and anonymously dish on it”.
The blog gained attention last week when it was featured in The New York Times. DABA women who gathered occasionally as a support group, shared how the men in their life were always checking their “Black-Berry, Bloomberg and CNBC”, how they were told to forget about expensive dinners and holidays, and that even bedroom habits had changed.
Another woman resorted to checking the daily stock market performance to gauge her man’s mood.
But such a sisterhood gains no sympathy from some people.
“I hope each woman who attends these meetings remains single and unwanted when this economy goes through its eventual recovery,” Brown, a male banker wrote to the NYT. When he was single, he said, he would not mention his career to a woman or spend more than US$100 on a date until he really knew her.
A female reader said: “After reading this, I am ashamed of being a woman. Whatever happened to being proud of supporting yourself?
“You’re not going to get a date now that everyone knows all you are good for is the swiping of someone else’s credit card.”
Amber Chia, Malaysia’s own top model who has been wooed by men made of money, has this take on the subject.
“When you love someone, you accept the bad times as well as the good,” says Chia, who is in New York to attend acting classes at the New York Film Academy.
Here in Gotham, Chia says she prefers to shop at factory outlets where the merchandise is cheaper.
“I buy everything with my own money.”
The 27-year-old actress and model recalled being propositioned by someone with a diamond ring and how, during an assignment in Indonesia, she met businessmen who tried becoming suitors.
But it was a “no, thank you” from Chia.
“I’m happy with my life and my work. I don’t need so much money because when you are too wealthy, there’s another set of problems,” says Chia, whose 11-year relationship with her boyfriend ended two years ago.
The modelling industry back home had not been spared by the financial meltdown, she says. Fees per show for models have been slashed by up to 50% and fashion shows which previously hired almost 50 models would now only take about 20.
Chia, however, has always believed in saving for a rainy day.
“Especially now that I am back to being a student,” she says. “I have no income now. I take the subway or just walk if I can, instead of taking a taxi.”
But DABA girls believe in humour, too.
“If your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life, lighten your heart with laughter,” says the blog, which was started by two young women “whose relationships tanked with the economy”.

Making a killing from courtroom dramas

HE isn’t hotter than Harry Potter, but for a man who has 235 million books in print, John Grisham has become platinum standard for fans of legal thrillers.
The latest from this Arkansas-born storyteller has an initial print of 2.5 million copies. Movie rights for The Associate, which made its debut on Tuesday, have already been sold to Paramount Pictures, with actor Shia LaBeouf in the title role.“I used to be Number One but then came Harry Potter. I really miss being Number One,” he deadpanned during a Tuesday appearance at a crowd­­­ed Barnes & Noble in Man­hattan to promote The Associate, a story set in New York, which Grisham described as a city that he had always loved but never featured in his previous books.
He produces a novel almost every year, always having about two or three ideas in his mind for the next book, mostly from stealing ideas everywhere.
“We all steal, that’s what we do,” he joked.
But there isn’t much sex in his writings because, according to his wife (in a previous TV interview), “he doesn’t know much about it”.
“I don’t know why she answered that way. It wasn’t necessary at all,” he said, poker-faced again.
Once he wrote something which he felt was erotic and raunchy, but his wife, who reads quite a lot of other naughty stuff, just “howled with laughter” after reading it.
He runs by his story ideas to his wife all the time. “If I can’t pitch it to her in about three sentences, I’m in trouble.”
To start on a book, Grisham has an outline for each chapter as he wants to know how the story goes.
“The more time I spend on the outline, the easier it gets, but sometimes I get lazy. If I don’t know the ending, I won’t start on it.”
But he admitted to not spending much time on characterisation. “I just want people to pick up my book and spend all night reading it, skipping work.”
He taught himself on what works and what won’t. Reading bad books, he said, reminds him not to write likewise.
Grisham remembered his early days as a small-town Mississippi lawyer always hanging around the court as he did not have too many clients.
One day, he listened to the testimony of a 10-year-old rape victim. “It was an emotional train wreck for all us in the courtroom. She took us through every emotion that a person could have,” he recalled.
When the court took a recess, Grisham left. Then he remembered that he had left his briefcase there.
He returned and, walking past the defendant, a thought came to him. Had he been the girl’s father, “just give me a gun, I could easily do it”.
“How many of you can convict me of something you would want to do yourself?” he asked himself. “It was a father’s revenge, a retribution.”
With that, an author was born, and A Time To Kill was published in 1988. “I wasn’t thinking about money or a career,” he said, “I just wanted a story told.”
By then, he had been severely bitten by the writing bug and decided that he had enough of a secret hobby.
The 54-year-old author spends six months every year writing, typing on the same computer that produced the 18 books he had written so far.
He believes the “insatiable appetite” for courtroom dramas and scandals has been the key to his commercial success.
“We have always enjoyed books and TV shows about lawyers. It’s ingrained in our DNA,” he said.
What does he do in the other six months? “People ask me that all the time,” he said, “but I really don’t know.”
Grisham shows little love for his critics. “Most of them have a manuscript in their drawer which can’t get published.”
Life, he said, is easier if you ignore the critics. The great thing about writing, he said, “is that you don’t have to retire”.
“I can’t say when I will quit. I’m always looking for something to write, I’m always looking for something to steal and then turn it over to my hyper creative imagination.”
Movie versions of The Firm, The Client and The Pelican Brief (he likes simple titles) came out within a year of the books being published.
“I write them that way. My books read like a movie.”
With all his wealth now, Grisham spoke of building schools in Kenya, health projects in Brazil and non-profit work to fight social injustice in the United States, because his heart remains in the law.
“The way the laws are abused in this country, the way we implement the death penalty, is absurd. These hot button issues really get to me.”
He is on the board of directors of Innocence Project, whose mission is to help prisoners who could be proven innocent through DNA tests. “To date, 232 people in the US have been exonerated by DNA testing, including 17 who served time on death row.”
A Time To Kill will always be special to him because it was his first book. “And there was no deadline to finish it,” he said.
Another favourite is A Painted House, drawn from his childhood in rural Arkansas, and “there is a lot of family history there”.
“I have received more than I can dream of,” he said of his success. “This is the icing on the cake.”