The enduring appeal of 'Agony Aunts'

Agony aunts are thriving even in this Internet age as proven by Dear Abby, a syndicated column which appears in 1,400 newspapers and gets letters worldwide, from Malaysia to Kosovo.

A 12-year-old girl wrote to an agony aunt, saying that she went into a Hunger Games chatroom on her iPod Touch and encountered three people who asked her for sex. They also wanted semi-nude pictures of her.
“I got so scared I couldn’t sleep,” she said.
That was just a sampling of heartfelt letters found recently in Dear Abby, an advice column which began five decades ago in Iowa, United States.
The agony aunt is Jeanne Phillips, who took over the job in 1987 from her mother who started the column under the name Abigail Van Buren.
In these days where help is just a tap away on the keyboard or touch screen, agony aunts (or uncles) have not gone out of style.
“While advice on the Internet may be only one click away, not all of it is good or correct information,” said Phillips in an e-mail interview.
Another “selling point” of advice columnists as pointed out by Phillips: they offer anonymity, which is something you won’t get if you approach a school counsellor, for instance. This probably explains why they have survived since 1691 when the advice column was born.
In an article on “A brief history of agony aunts” in The Guardian about three years ago, the writer reviewed a book by Tanith Carey titled Never Kiss A Man In A Canoe: Words Of Wisdom From The Golden Age Of Agony Aunts.
The writer discovered that a 32-year-old man in 1691 was troubled about an affair he was having. With no one to turn to, he started what has become known as the first advice column.
Such columns, like Dear Abby, have evolved through the years, said Phillips.
“Society has changed. Readers are more open about their problems than they were when Dear Abby began,” Phillips said.
“But the core of the problem, which is interpersonal relations, has not changed. The questions involve how people interact with each other, whether it is in social situations, in the home and family, the school or the workplace.”
Today’s women, she said, form a greater part of the workforce and this has taken its toll on the family.
“Also there is the phenomenon of stay-at-home dads, which is fairly new. Some of them feel isolated and not accepted.”
There are also many queries from people who complain about their significant other who still does not want to commit to a marriage despite them having kids together.
“There’s a lot of that these days,” she said.
Dear Abby gets about 10,000 letters and e-mails every week, mostly from people between the ages of 18 and 49. About 30% of them are guys.
“Seeing to it that every question is read is challenging. That’s why I have a staff of trained people to help me make sure that people in crisis get a prompt reply.”
When she gets letters from readers who are suicidal, she said she would pick up the phone and call them.
“I’ll offer to listen, talk to their doctor for them or steer them to a community mental health clinic or suicide hotline.”
Dear Abby, as she points out, is never boring.Its website reveals a gamut of everyday problems. One woman said she had been seeing a guy who always insists on going Dutch or never offers to pay during their dates.
Abby’s advice? “Are you getting what you’re paying for, and is it enough for you? If the answer is no, then scratch him.”
Nothing seems too trivial for an advice columnist. There was a letter from an office worker complaining about a colleague who wears flip-flops every day and “the sound of her walking is extremely annoying, to the point where I get a headache.”
The advice given was entertaining: “If the boss says her footwear is fine, then you’re out of luck. Wear earplugs, use aspirin as directed.”
In another case, one wedding guest, who was trying to buy a gift for the soon-to-be married couple, was upset to find out that they had listed pricey items for their cats in their online wedding registry.
Sometimes, the readers themselves send in their advice. Dear Abby published a letter on Aug 21 from a 58-year-old man for women who often lament about finding the right guy.
“We’re right here every day, working in the same building, going to the same functions, eating at the same diners,” he wrote.
“You want to find a guy in your age range? Step back, be honest and really look at yourself. How do you act, dress, talk? Would you date you? Do you measure up to the standards you have set for the right guy?”
“Take the time to see who he is, what he enjoys and remember, he’s not going to change, and if he did, he wouldn’t be what you wanted anyway.”
Phillips, on her part, said she thoroughly enjoyed her aunt agony duties.
“My work is also my hobby. It’s really not ‘work’ if you enjoy what you’re doing and I happen to love it.”
“I never tire of being an ‘agony aunt’. What I do is part of who I am, and always have been. I like people and I’m interested in them.”
Where does an agony aunt go to when she needs a shoulder to cry on?
“When I need advice or consolation, I go to my husband for affection, the benefit of his experience (and he’s had plenty of it), as well as his unstinting support. I’m a very lucky woman. I consider him to be my gift from God.”
She believes that the popularity of Dear Abby is due to the fact that she does not “sermonise”.
“I answer the questions as clearly, concisely and briefly as I can. It is both a responsibility and an honour and it is humbling.”
She said her advice had been used as the basis of sermons in churches and by professors of sociology and philosophy for lectures.
“People pour their hearts out to me in an endless stream of headaches, heartaches and confessions. They do it because they trust me and know I won’t judge or belittle them, and that I’ll do my best to give them resources to find help.”

Call of the kitchen

New York’s latest über fancy restaurant is wowing the fine-dining crowd, thanks to a Taiping boy who is cooking up a storm with his brand of Chinese cuisine.
PETER Parker has his Spider-Man costume while Tony Stark becomes Iron Man, thanks to his “power suit”.
As for Ho Chee Boon, all he needs is a wok to transform himself.
“I know little about investments. I don’t know how to chat up a girl. But when I have a wok in my hands, I become a confident man.
“It doesn’t matter where I work, if I have a wok with me, I know that I can kowtim what I’m supposed to do,” said the 39-year-old Ho, who is the executive chef of Hakkasan in the United States.
The New York Times has billed Hakkasan as “the world’s only luxury Chinese restaurant chain” with branches in London, Miami, Mumbai, Abu Dhabi and Dubai.
On April 3, it opened its doors near Times Square in New York City, where Ho is now based.
Ho, who has clocked 24 years in the business including stints in Singapore, Brunei, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Britain, Russia and Thailand, is the man behind the meticulously crafted menu at Hakkasan.
There is the black truffle roasted duck which has emerged as one of the signature dishes despite its US$88 (RM267) tag.
Other best-sellers include the grilled Chilean seabass with Chinese honey (US$48/RM146) and stir-fry lobster with mushrooms in XO sauce (US$59/RM179).
The seven most expensive items on the menu are known as the “supreme special dishes” where prices range from US$78/RM237 (stir-fried bird’s nest with lobster and scrambled egg white) to US$888 (RM2,695) for the braised Japanese abalone with black truffle.
There are plenty of takers, apparently. Take, for example, the Peking duck with Kaluga caviar which is priced at US$345 (RM1,047).
“We get eight to 10 orders for it every day. In fact, we have to control the number of orders for the Peking duck as we want to ensure quality in our delivery,” Ho said.
There are other more plebeian offerings, though, such as the seafood fried rice (US$18/RM55), Hakka noodles with mushrooms and Chinese chive (US$15/RM45), and sweet and sour pork tenderloin with pomegranate (US$24/RM73).
Ho, who heads a kitchen crew of 70, said business has been good at Hakkasan New York, which can seat about 200 people.
“It’s hard to get in without making reservations especially during weekends,” he said.
Even celebrities have taken note of Hakkasan New York. Denzel Washington, Kevin Bacon and Dakota Fanning are among those who have already been there.
Ho isn’t just taking care of the New York outpost. As the corporate development chef, he is helping to set up branches in San Francisco, Las Vegas and Los Angeles. His tasks, besides “flying here and there to recruit chefs”, include training the staff and developing the menu.
“Every city has its own uniqueness and preferences. Here in New York, diners are big on seafood. They like their lobsters,” he said.
This, he said, was different from places such as Mumbai where more vegetarian dishes are offered.
“But overall, people want healthy food. We use little oil in our cooking. MSG is unheard of,” he said. Canned food is almost a no-no.
Ho is the proverbial product of the school of hard knocks. He grew up poor in Taiping, Perak, where his late father was a restaurant worker and his mother, now 76, was a vegetable seller. There were 10 mouths to feed and Ho, as the No. 9 kid, knew from young that he had to earn his keep.
“I would go to restaurants or roadside stalls, asking for part-time work washing dishes,” he recalled.
His love for the kitchen could perhaps be attributed to his mother, whom he used to watch as she cooked for the family.
“Her dishes were always delicious. The aroma was irresistible. Or perhaps I was always a hungry boy back then,” he laughed.
Despite doing well in his studies, he quit school to find work. He ventured to Kuala Lumpur, taking up odd jobs at restaurants and at 17, he went off to Singapore.
“I would always look for jobs at top restaurants wherever I went,” he said. “I took time to learn about Chinese herbs as well.”
Prior to his arrival in New York, Ho had been the executive chef at Breeze in Lebua State Tower, Bangkok. He was previously the head chef at Turandot, Moscow, and also the sous chef at Hakkasan Hanway Place in London.
Despite the pressure-cooker environment, Ho said: “I am happy being in a kitchen. Yes, it can get very busy and intense and we would holler at one another. I’m not that foul-mouthed, but we are a loud bunch. It’s just all in a day’s work,” he laughed.
Despite his globetrotting job, Ho comes home to Malaysia frequently to visit his family.
“I was back about two or three times last year,” he said. “Whenever I am home, I like to go for the street food. A good plate of char kuey teow is a must,” he said.
But for someone who can dish out elaborate Cantonese cuisine, he is surprisingly simple about his favourite food.
“I like anything that’s good to eat!” If he is cooking for himself, a bowl of Korean instant noodles will do.
His life has always been consumed by work. His days usually end after midnight and by 10am the next day, he is back at work. Ho, who is single, has bigger things in mind these days. During his three-year stint from 2003 at Hakkasan Hanway Place, the restaurant was awarded a Michelin star. His target now is to earn a two-star ranking for Hakkasan New York.
“The best part about being a chef is when people acknowledge you for the good food. When my food is appreciated, I feel happy.”

The best of both worlds

Up-and-coming model making waves in Indonesia and Malaysia.

THERE were two friendly “neighbours” who would sometimes get in each other’s hair just like anyone who lived next door to one another.

They would get territorial, squabbling over stuff like kain batik, songs and dances.

This is a story about a pretty woman who might some day come between them.

Meet Raline Shah, 26, who is making waves in the modelling scene in Indonesia and Malaysia.

The uber chic magazine Glam recently gave her a 15-page spread, gushing that she was the hottest model from Jakarta.

You’re probably wondering how Jakarta-born Raline could possibly be the centre of a tug-of-war between two neighbours in the future.

Well, that’s because she has Malaysian blood running through her veins. “My mother is half-Singaporean Chinese, half-Malaysian Malay,” she explained in flawless English during an interview in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur.

She spent almost half her life in Malaysia, too, where she came to study at the age of 13.

“I grew up in Malaysia. My mum decided to send my brother and me for high school and A-Levels (in Kolej Tuanku Ja’afar, a British-style boarding school in Negri Sembilan) here,” she said.

Back then, Raline spent much of her time with her grandparents in Johor.

“I had a lot of good memories with them. My late grandfather used to drive me from Negri Sembilan to Johor every monthly break,” she recounted. In fact, her grandmother still lives in Johor.

The 1.72m beauty gained public attention when she took part in the Miss Indonesia Universe pageant (known there as Puteri Indonesia) three years ago. Though she did not emerge the winner, Raline clinched subsidiary titles such as Puteri Indonesia Lingkungan (Environment) and Puteri Favorit (People’s Choice) when she broke the record for the number of SMS votes in the history of the pageant. She was the overwhelming favourite, earning 78% of the votes.

It was in Singapore, however, that she started modelling part-time. She was studying at the National University of Singapore, where she got a degree in political science, and new media and communications.

Apart from magazine spreads in Indonesia and appearing for a range of telecommunications, banking and beauty products, Raline is also currently the face for Nivea in Indonesia and Skinz in Malaysia.

“I would like to do more work in Malaysia,” she said. “Half of my family is here.”

However, she divulged little about her family background as she doesn’t want to be accused of riding on the name of her successful businessman father.

Sheng Saw, the make-up artist who has worked with almost all the top names and leading women in Malaysia, only has good things to say about Raline.

“She was very charming. Always had a big smile on her face. And easy to work with. She was such a sweetie, advising me about good food. We chatted and makan (eat) all the time during the shoot,” said Sheng, who collaborated with Raline for the Skinz and Glam shoot.

Sheng, who started his career in London and has been in the business for over a decade, believes that Raline has the talent and a very bright future.

“Her appearance is versatile and changeable. I can see the potential in her as a model, or if she gets into acting,” he said.

In fact, Raline will start shooting for a movie in Indonesia next January. This will mark her debut on the silver screen.

There had been dozens of movie offers which came her way previously but “nothing caught my eye until now. I want to do something that is me.”

She loves the performing arts, confessing also that “it has been paying my bills.”

During her college days, she was involved in every theatre production. “I have always been in touch with my creative side,” she added.

She is also dipping her hands into business, dabbling in pearl trading and helping her father in real estate development.

Other plans include opening a beauty salon and a cooking school. She likes to cook and is taking up part-time training in a culinary school in Jakarta. She has also completed one season of a cooking show in Indonesia.

Having a “public face”, Raline said, could be a boost to business in the republic.

“Indonesians are very ‘looks-oriented’. If you are famous, people want to be involved with your business especially if you have a good track record.”

Her dream, eventually, is to open a school that teaches living skills to youngsters.

“I’ve been lucky as I have a privileged upbringing. My parents taught me that the more you have, the more you should give to others,” she said. Her homemaker mother is the president of a school for mentally and physically challenged kids.

Indonesia’s huge share of national tragedies has had a bearing on her, too.

“I’m quite spiritual. To me, these are reminders for us to do good things.”

But enough of serious business. Who is she dating?

Once, there was talk about her and a member of a royal family. These days, she is linked with a young Malaysian tycoon.

Raline’s response? A dignified silence.

There was a public assumption, she said, that women in modelling or high-profile jobs are high-maintenance.

“I’m not here to comprehend the male psyche and their ideas about women. My line of work requires me to be high-maintenance. But I’m very easy-going in my daily life. Just T-shirts and flats will do for me,” she quipped.

Modelling remains a part-time job for now and she travels to Malaysia every other month.

If she hits pay dirt, two countries may want to lay claim on her and get into another spat yet again. When that happens, perhaps there is only one thing to say to her: Give us some love, Raline!

Community spirit among Sarawakians

Sarawak’s ethnic diversity is well-known. But to actually see the community spirit among the people regardless of race and religion is an experience that touches the hearts of even staunch politicians.
IPOH Barat MP M. Kulasegaran was in typical good humour during an early morning chat at his legal office in Ipoh recently.
“You know, I didn’t see any thambi (“brother” in Tamil) around,” he quipped, referring to Miri and Bintulu where he spent one week campaigning during the Sarawak elections in April.
“There were no Indian restaurants there. No tosai! In fact, I didn’t use my mother tongue during my time there,” he said.
Small wonder, really. There may not be many Indians but there are about 27 ethnic groups among Sarawak’s estimated 2.4 million people. Of that, the Ibans constitute 30% of the state’s population.
Skin colour aside, Kulasegaran found it heartwarming that the people of Sarawak could accept one another, even strangers, so easily.
“There is a much larger scope of inter-racial relationships in Sarawak. It is growing and glowing there. The indigenous people are so much more adaptable to each other.”
Almost all road signages are written both in Bahasa Malaysia and Chinese, he said, citing an example.
“And the people were friendly and warm. Everywhere I went, someone would just come up to me and ask: Ini hari ada ceramah? Siapa mari? (Any speeches today? Who’s coming?)” he recalled.
While he was there, Kulasegaran said he spoke to the people usually in Bahasa Malaysia or English. In fact, he said that English remained the preferred language in Sarawak courts and the state assembly.
Miri, he said, was much more developed than he had thought.
“It is a well-developed urban place. Everything is accessible. There is Internet access everywhere, wi-fi at most places.”
He sensed a strong Christian presence as well.
“There are churches everywhere; certainly more than Ipoh,” he said.
Sarawak has the highest number of Christians in the country (about 853,000 or 42%); Iban Christians numbered about 408,000 based on the 2000 Population and Housing Census.
Kulasegaran noted, too, that the local coffeeshops employed indigenous people as their workers.
“Pork is available in most shops and also sold at wet markets. People would walk past it, just like that.”
Despite a common perception that Peninsular Malaysia is more developed and progressive, Kulasegaran said it was ironic that Sarawak exhibited greater openness where “things are more relaxed.”
“There seems to be less taboo on matters like pork or liquor consumption,” he noted.
Nik Nazmi Nik Ahmad, the Seri Setia (Selangor) assemblyman, shared similar observations, saying:
“Some of my Malay friends from Peninsular Malaysia had qualms about eating food prepared by non-Muslims despite it being halal dishes. In Sarawak, however, the local Muslims found that surprising as they have had few problems with that all their lives!
“Even the very religious Muslims in Sarawak were not fussy about how their food was prepared as long as it was halal,” said Nik Nazmi, who spent two weeks campaigning in Nangka, Sibu.
He also noted that Malay and Chinese stalls co-exist next to each other in places such as food courts. On the other hand, he said he knew of non-Muslims in Peninsular Malaysia who would take extra precautions such as buying new pots and making sure the ingredients were halal if they were cooking for Muslim friends.
Nik Nazmi, who was the youngest candidate to win in the 2008 general election at the age of 26, also felt that Sarawakians were a friendly and earnest lot.
“There, people mingle easily with each other. I’ve heard this about them but it’s really remarkable to see the ease in which they mix with Malays, Ibans, Melanaus, Chinese or any race. For someone from Peninsular Malaysia, it’s really amazing to see that.”
“Also, the lifestyle is far more relaxed. It is so easy to make friends there. We like to take pride that Malaysians are friendly but being a PJ boy all my life, you don’t notice it so much.”
In fact, he found the trip to Sarawak so enthralling that what was supposed to be a five-day visit stretched to a fortnight.
“People in the peninsula – myself included – tend to always regard the peninsula as Malaysia and forget about Sabah and Sarawak. We have many things that we can learn from the Sabahans and Sarawakians.”
Perak state executive councillor Datuk Dr Mah Hang Soon, a Foochow boy who grew up in Sitiawan, found that he could fit right in during his visit to Sibu, where the clan dominates.
The Foochows, he explained, are known to be very hard-working, thrifty and a close-knit community.
“Outsiders may find it hard to break into their business circle,” he said, laughing.
Despite his short stay there, Dr Mah said the trip brought back memories of two decades ago.
“The people sitting around at eating places reminded me of those old days when life was simpler. There were not so many taboos then. These days, people tend to be so particular about so many things,” he said.
Racial sentiment was much less in Sarawak, he said, adding that their spirit of “togetherness” seemed to come so naturally.
Dr Mah recalled the times when he attended chapel during his school days in SMK ACS, Sitiawan, although he was not a Christian.
“I can sing many hymms,” said Dr Mah, who gave up a 10-year career as Perak’s leading cardiologist to become a full-time politician in 2009.
(One estimate put the number of Foochows in Sarawak at 120,000 of which about half are Christians.)
Referring to the Aug 4 raid by Selangor Islamic Religious Department on a church over a multi-racial dinner, Dr Mah said he believed that such raids would not happen in Sarawak.
(As someone tweeted that day: “Come to Sarawak. Multi racial dinner happens everywhere, everyday.”)
“These kind of raids were unheard of in the past,” he said.
However, Dr Mah remained optimistic about the future, citing Chenderiang, Perak, in which he is the assemblyman. There are about 20,000 voters there, of which 20% are orang asli, while the Chinese and Malays each formed about one-third of the electorate.
“The level of acceptance is higher in small towns,” he said. “In the schools in Chenderiang, the racial mix is very good. This means that the students have more opportunities to mingle with one another,” he said.
Dr Mah stressed that Malaysians must always be mindful about having a broader perspective in life and that people should be cautious about not making racial remarks.
“At the end of the day, we are all citizens of planet Earth,” he said.

Painful love bytes

Shakespeare is right even in these days of Twitter and text messages – the course of true love never does run smooth, as seen from testimonies in one of the largest US dailies.

ONE woman relates how she would get a tattoo after each breakup. It is “pain therapy” of sorts for her. Another confesses that she left her boyfriend despite his being a loyal partner.

Then she was smitten by another guy who was scheduled to appear in a new reality show. In her zeal to win his love, “I made myself too available”. In the end, she lost him as well. These are all real life accounts of “love in the new millenium”, as writer Daniel Jones puts it. And love is just as fraught in this cyber-age of Facebook, iPhone, Twitter and e-mail.

“But the ways of finding, keeping, losing and talking about love has changed,” Jones notes. “Now, technology is so overwhelmingly a part of dating and mating, it’s hard to think of what we did before. And there’s a casualness about love and sex that seems more pervasive than ever.”

A college student, 21, wrote that the cyber-age is “where hookups are just a Craigslist ad away and the game has evolved to the point of no rules. For my generation, friendship often morphs into a sexual encounter and then reverts to friendship the next day.”

Jones has seen, or rather, read many of such cases. He is the editor of Modern Love, a popular Sunday column in The New York Times, which features contributions from people about love or longing.

The stories are not all about romance. One man talks about appreciating a difficult mother, a “drama queen” who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. Another guy broke up with his girlfriend of five years but still “spied” on her on Facebook and got upset when he discovered that his grandfather had befriended his ex on the site. That, he felt, was a betrayal.

Modern Love has been under Jones’ charge since it started about six years ago. He gets essays from around the United States from “everyday people”, from high school students to grandparents.

“I receive about 300 submissions a month,” Jones says in an e-mail interview. The column invites frank, personal testimonies on families, relationships, dating, parenthood or any other situation that is considered contemporary love.

Jones, 47, has lost count of the stories that touched him. But, he adds, his job becomes even more compelling when he comes across “a smart or sensitive new voice”.

“I do get worn down by material that’s subpar for whatever reason, or by reading the same situation over and over. But a great piece can make up for it.”

He has his own love story to share about his wife, the author of My Sister’s Bones and Sweet Ruin.

“She and I met when she visited my graduate writing programme in Tuscon, Arizona. We got to know each other through letters for several months until we were able to meet again and see if we actually liked each other in person. That was before e-mail, 20 years ago.”

They have a daughter, 15, and a son, 12.

Jones believes that modern tools in the 21st century have made communication easier “but the work of love, and the awkwardness, seems to remain much the same. People still get hurt, dumped, and heartbroken, and always will. Your Facebook status won’t shield you from that. Neither can iPhone or Twitter.”

Take, for example, how a woman described being told by her husband of two decades that he does not love her anymore: “His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch,” she wrote.

People now have practically limitless choice when it comes to finding love, or so it seems, with technology and social networking, Jones says.

“We used to be somewhat limited by locale, job or school, or to those within a certain circle. Now that has been blasted apart, and we can find love anywhere. But greater choice comes with its own hazards and the expectations can be kind of paralysing – there’s a feeling that there’s always someone better out there.”

For those who are married, it has become easy to look up old loves and re-connect.

“This fuels fantasies about ‘what might have been’, and in many cases, these late-in-life reconnections are destroying marriages.

“With this ease comes complication. Ah, the wonders of technology!”

Jones, who grew up in Pittsburgh, is based in Northampton, Massachusetts. He is the author of After Lucy, a finalist for the Barnes & Noble Discover Award, and the editor of an anthology titled The Bastard on the Couch: 27 Men Try Really Hard to Explain their Feelings about Love, Loss, Fatherhood and Freedom.

Although most of the contributors to Modern Love are females, Jones says there there have been more male readers than he expected. Modern Love has become so popular that a selection of the essays has been compiled into a book titled Modern Love – 50 True and Extraordinary Tales of Desire, Deceit and Devotion.

Jones, who has sifted through tens of thousands of love stories, remembers October 2009 as being his best month.

“I just loved all the four essays (for) that month,” he says. One of the stories was submitted by a man who said he had become a better person and a more loving partner to his companion after getting a dachshund as a pet. In a Valentine’s Day article this year, Jones wrote: “Will love always be this strange? You’d think by now we would have an iHeart app that takes our quivering insecurities and converts them into kilowatts that can be sold back to the power company.”

But unfortunately, we don’t, as he well knows.

Nadia keeps Naza flag flying

It is easy to write off anyone who is born into a business empire but Nur Nadia SM Nasimuddin seems to have a good head on her shoulders and the competence to continue the work of her late father.

FOR all her youth, Nur Nadia SM Nasimuddin is beginning to walk the talk as she strives to become another force behind the Naza brand.

“I have always been interested in the family business,” says the youngest child of the late Tan Sri SM Nasimuddin SM Amin, who in 1975 started what was to become Malaysia’s biggest importer of luxury cars and which eventually evolved into a giant conglomerate with about 30 companies.

Nadia, 24, is the director of Naza Hotels and F&B Group, and oversees five hotels and two restaurants.

During a one-hour interview, Nadia talks about how she always knew her primary calling in life.

“When I was studying, my dad had mentioned the hotel business. And I knew earlier on that this was what I wanted to do,” she says.

Nadia has been in the family business since graduating in management studies from the University of Nottingham almost three years ago.

She would go to the United States about once every two months for business trips to inspect the two hotels in California owned by Naza.

“It’s a tough business, but I have a passion for it,” she says.

Her work philosophy is all about pleasing the customers and providing consistent service.

“We want to build trust. It has been a learning curve for me and I have a good support team.”

She gets down to details, too, as she notes that one of her pet concerns is the cleanliness of the hotels.

“I would even check the toilets. I would be upset if I find that things are not clean. Things like these are not tolerated in my hotels,” she stresses, referring to the three Naza Talyya hotels in Johor Baru, Malacca and Penang.

As the boss of about 210 staff members, Nadia describes herself as someone quite strict yet understanding.

“I discovered that I have a drive to motivate people. They feel that they can work with me.

But questions on the so-called “lifestyle of the rich and famous” draw few comments from Nadia who prefers to talk about being at home with her family.

“I don’t really go out at night.”

There is, apparently, no nightlife nor parties for this young woman, which perhaps explains why she has largely sidestepped the public spotlight or scandals usually associated with the wealthy.

Asked where she would “hang out”, she names KLCC and Pavillion but even then, it would mostly be for lunch or dinner with business associates or family members.

During the interview, she appears hesitant, even tentative in her replies. One can only surmise that she is not entirely at ease being in the public eye.

What comes through, however, is a seemingly sensible and well-brought up young woman who cares deeply about family ties, the family business and reputation.

Where does she shop for clothes? “Zara, Topshop,” she replies. Her wedding ring was purchased from Habib Jewels.

That isn’t entirely expected from someone who is part of an empire that has been estimated to be worth at least RM3bil.

Her upbringing has to be credited for that.

According to Nadia, her parents had been strict with her and her four older siblings, drilling into them that they should not squander the family fortune.

“We were taught to control our expenses and not to splurge. We are mindful of the hard work that my dad put in to build the empire.”

She recalls her father bringing them to the orphanages so that they would appreciate what they had.

“During Ramadan, he would host buka puasa for orphans. In fact, he had always wanted to take us to India so that we could see how different life is for others.”

As a child, her parents would tell her off when she used up her pocket money faster than she should have.There were no compromises, too, where their studies were concerned.

As a result, Nadia had excelled in school; first in Sri Cempaka, then at Kolej Tuanku Ja’afar (KTJ).

Does she like cars? “Yes, but not the way my brothers like them!”

She does not own any vehicle and would hop into any car that the chauffeur brought in the morning.

In July, Nadia married Hamzah Alang, 26, the son of the Holiday Villa Hotels owner.

Going by the murmurs in the blogs, the wedding was one of those things she had indulged in as the reception had been a grand affair.

“I knew him during our days in KTJ. We were just friends then.” They dated for about a year before they got married.

Shortly after Hari Raya, the couple headed off to Hawaii and French Polynesia for their honeymoon.

Asked about her daily routine, Nadia says her day would usually start with breakfast with the family. “I would see my brothers and update them on the hotels.”

There is no sibling rivalry, she insists. “We are all in the business, doing different things.”

Naysayers will think that she merely serves as a garnish in her father’s massive empire.

“People tend to judge you, thinking that those born with a silver spoon don’t even have to finish their studies,” Nadia confides.

But with her resume, she knows she has the last word.

Dating on the cards

Never mind that little black dress. A new, essential tool these days is a little black card for single women (and men) who have eyed someone out there.

WHEN Lori Cheek, an architect, spotted an attractive stranger during a Fourth of July party in the Hamptons, she quietly slipped a black calling card into his back pocket.

The man did not even see Cheek, 37.

Since then, however, they have been going out on dates; the guy had decided to take up the bidding in the card where, stated in small print, was the message “find me”.

Also on the card was a website address (www.cheekd.com) and a unique code.

Intrigued, he checked out the site and keyed in the code, which linked him to a private online profile about Cheek.

“He e-mailed me after the weekend and we met for a drink,” Cheek said.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a true account of the latest dating tool which has hit New York, a city with almost four million singles according to the 2008 American Community Survey.

A report in The New York Times stated that there are more single people in New York City than the entire population of Chicago which has 2.7 million inhabitants.

Thus, lonely hearts who are wary about online dating or tired of speed dating now have another option that is “fun and non-intimidating” to hit on someone who has just sparked their interest.

“You see someone attractive, you make eye contact or perhaps even offer a wink. Then you hand out the card,” said Cheek, who started the website in May and found her own success story to share.

The cards come with catchy taglines such as “Emotionally Available”, “Our Story Begins”, “We’ll Laugh About This A Year From Now” and “Don’t Overthink This”.

At the website, a deck of 50 cards are offered at US$25 plus one month of free service where users post information or receive messages on the site.

“The advantage here is that the world is your shopping cart,” said Cheek in an e-mail interview. “You are practically shopping on the streets, in real life.”

This, she said, is unlike online dating where everyone knows that men and women out there tend to exaggerate their merits on online dating networks.

The service was a refreshing alternative to online profile browsing, she said. “It is also unlike speed dating or ‘It’s Just Lunch’ events, where your only options are the other individuals at the event.”

Cheek said she had been getting happy feedback from singles who have handed out the cards surreptitiously.

“I got the nicest e-mail from a 53-year-old man with three children whose wife had recently left him. He thought it was a great way to give his card away to women while he was with his children and they wouldn’t really know that he was handing off a pick-up line!”

Cheek said she thought of the idea for such cards about two years ago when she had just finished dinner with a male friend in SoHo, a neighbourhood in Manhattan.

Her friend wrote on the back of his business card “Want to have dinner?” and handed it to a girl at an adjacent table as he and Cheek were leaving the restaurant.

“I thought it was pretty bold and mysterious that he’d slipped her the card, but thought it would be much more interesting if that card hadn’t had the information of his place of employment on it.

“I then started thinking how interesting it would be to have different suggestions pre-printed on cards that you could use in all kinds of different scenarios. The process seemed like a ‘Tag. You’re It’ kind of game for urban singles,” Cheek said.

So far, the response to the cards had been incredible.

“I’ve received thank you letters from users for creating the idea and ‘sharing the magic.’ We’ve gotten thousands of sign-ups on our site.”

The users come from all over the United States.

“Most of the orders are coming from the larger cities but we also have many orders from small towns that I’ve never even heard of!” she enthused. The age range is usually about 20 to 50.

In fact, Cheek had also been getting e-mails from other countries, inquiring how the cards could be purchased overseas.

“We’re working on shipping worldwide and hope to have that set up on our site within the next month.”

She said “Cheek’d” had organised many events since its launch where users and other singles would come for happy-hour drinks.

Cheek’d, of course, isn’t the only such website available now. There are other similar services for singles to mingle with the ones that they fancied.

Still, there are those who question the need for such cards. Why not just walk up to someone and say hi?

“The truth is, people (for the most part) don’t do that. These cards give users a chance to do so without interrupting their lunch/ dinner/previously engaged conversations.”

However, she acknowledged that it takes a bit of courage to hand the card to someone.

“But I also see it as an opportunity to bridge the gap of a certain level of shyness,” Cheek said.

Cheek, who looks for a caring man with a sense of humour, has been seeing the guy whom she “Cheek’d” at the Hamptons a number of times now.

“I’m finding myself really liking him! The bad thing is – I don’t want to get serious about someone because handing these cards out is so much fun!” she said.

Driven by a desire for dance

HE knows all about the grace of the ballet world, learning to “speak” with his body and perfecting his steps along the way ever since he took up dance at age 13.
But until today, Raymond Chai has not learned to see the “colour” in his arts.
“I had never gone for an audition thinking that I might not get the role because I was not of the right skin colour,” Chai said of his earlier days living abroad as a dancer and actor.
Racism, he said, remained somewhat alien to him.
“I never had to play an Oriental part because the performance needed a Chinese person.”
The rare times he did play an Asian role were in Miss Saigon (Stuttgart, Germany, from 1996 till 1999), The King And I (London West End, 2000 till 2002) and Anything Goes (Royal National Theatre and the West End, 2003 till 2005).
Chai first left for London in 1978 when he got a scholarship to study ballet at the Rambert School of Ballet.
“It was a lot of hard work, dancing the whole day, but I didn’t mind. Every day I felt closer to becoming a professional dancer. I remember the teachers being very hard and expecting a lot from all of us in the class,” he recalled.
“The school was tough – if you were not up to the standard, you were out.”
Contract
Four months before he graduated in 1980, Chai was offered a place at the National Ballet of Portugal.
“I was so excited that I accepted the contract immediately and left in three days,” he said.
As the youngest in that ballet company then (he was 19), Chai said he learnt a lot during the eight years he was there doing both classical and modern repertoire.
“It was my time in Portugal that made me what I am today as a ballet teacher and choreographer.”
Chai has also lived and performed in Hamburg, Stuttgart, Zurich and Lisbon. In Lisbon, he won the top prize in the National Choreographic Competition in 1985.
In Britain, he has worked with the Royal National Theatre and the Royal Shakespeare Company.
“I’m grateful to have experienced nearly every part of the art form from classical ballet to musical theatre, to acting. And I’ve performed in opera houses for royal families and heads of state.”
At one point, the Royal Shakespeare Company was doing a production of Kiss Me Kate in which Chai became the first Asian to play a non-Asian role in the West End.
Currently Chai, who has been living in London for 13 years now, is chief ballet master of the Ballet Black Company (Britain).
He is also a lecturer in ballet technique at the London Contemporary Dance School where students come from top conservatories around the world.
“Each year, about 2,000 applicants audition for the 40 places available,” he said.
Chai is also a guest teacher at several dance companies, guiding professional dancers who have completed their training.
Looking back, Chai said his early days were tough as he had to keep up with the competition.
“In a way, things are easier now for the young people because dancing and performing are considered proper jobs. The market is also bigger,” he said.
He recalled the many auditions in which he was rejected and merely told, “Thank you very much.”
But Chai considered himself fortunate that he had never been unemployed.
“I have always had work. I never had to do something else to support myself. I have stayed in business, so to speak.”
He attributed it to being in the right place at the right time. “I am really blessed. God has played a big part in my life.”
Fong Siew Lan, his ballet teacher during his childhood days in Ipoh, deserves mention, too, as she had been instrumental in his formative training.
“She was a very good teacher. She knew I was very interested and gave me extra classes. She helped make my body limber.”
(Incidentally, Bond Girl Michelle Yeoh was also in his class.)
Chai also feels lucky that his parents never objected to him wanting to be a ballet dancer.
“I love being on stage. I have always wanted to be a ballet dancer. I already knew then that ballet wasn’t just a game for me.”
Chai comes back to Malaysia every year to visit his family. Besides, he misses the food and the sunshine.
The Malaysian arts scene, he said, seems to be thriving although he hopes there will be more training for artistes in the advanced and professional levels.
“With better training, Malaysians can be just as good as the Westerners. We are not any lesser than them.”
There must, however, be a bigger desire to succeed, he said.
His advice for youngsters who want to dance their way to a career?
“You’ve got to be committed. You should follow your heart, (even if) that may sound corny,” he said.
Fact File
NAME: Raymond Chai
AGE: 49
HOMETOWN: Ipoh, Perak
EDUCATION: SRK Methodist (ACS), SMK Methodist (ACS) Ipoh; Rambert School of Ballet, London, Britain
OCCUPATION: Ballet lecturer and choreographer
CURRENT BASE: London, Britain
YEARS ABR OAD: 32 years

A perfect getaway

Hawaii proves to be a great holiday spot, boasting culture, gorgeous scenery and plenty of activities.

She is just 20 years old but Kylie Lokahi Mattos has already clocked 16 years in hula dancing.

“I started learning the dance when I was four. These days, I love that I can play a part in keeping the culture alive,” says the pretty Hawaiian-born lass.

Mattos is part of a troupe that offers free performances on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday evenings in Hawaii’s Kuhio Beach Park, which is part of the famed Waikiki Beach in Honolulu.

Their shows start in late evenings, enabling spectators a view of the sunset while seated under an ancient banyan tree to enjoy the dance and music. Hula dancing, according to Mattos, involves a great deal of coordination and synchronisation as the dancer needs to be mindful of the way they move their hands and hips, and even their eyes.

“Most people have a great interest in watching the dance. I am glad that they can be a part of our culture,” says Mattos, a cosmetology students who dances part-time.

Hula dances aside, Honolulu offers a thrilling time for beach lovers. No stretch of any beach is considered private property. The Waikiki beach, for instance, is always crowded, never mind if it’s 2pm when the glare from the sun is considered too much for the average Asian.

Most Malaysians would remember Hawaii Five-O, the iconic American detective TV series which was shot on location in Honolulu. Other Made-in-Hawaii shows are Magnum, P.I. and Lost which was shot on the island of Oahu. But the Aloha State has other intriguing facets, too.

Get a bird’s eye view of Honolulu at the Nu’uanu Pali State Park, where according to a signboard there, even “Mark Twain once called this view the most beautiful in the world.”

Hawaii’s famous local boy is, of course, Barack Obama. The US president is immortalised as dolls in all manners, playing the ukelele on the shelves of gift shops.

One local tour company offers “Obama’s Hawaii presidential tour” at US$5. Its tagline? “Yes, We Can!”

Honolulu also boasts the world’s largest open-air shopping centre called the Ala Moana Centre which has 290 stores and restaurants. Get your fix of designer brands here.

Then there is the International Market Place which is also an open-air concept for shoppers to browse and buy from at least 100 shops, kiosks and stands selling under the sun. It is located right in the heart of Waikiki, under a magnificent banyan tree.

According to Michael Parke, a researcher who has lived here for three decades, Hawaii is one of the best examples of how different races get along with one another.

“At least 65% of children born here are of mixed parentage,” he says. “How cool is that?”

He notes that at least 35% of homes here still speak a language other than English.

Filipinos are the fastest growing ethnic group here, which probably explains why adobo sauce is so readily available at the shelves of Walmart.

Aishah Osman, a Malaysian who has lived in Hawaii for almost three years, loves being in Honolulu.

“Every day is like a vacation to me. The ocean and mountain are in my backyard. Everything is so beautiful,” she says.

Aishah, who completed a Master of Arts in Communication from Hawaii Pacific University in January, is now taking time to enjoy the place. “I’m not going home any time soon. Not until I am done with Hawaii!”

A beach person, 30-year-old Aishah says she loves outdoor activities such as swimming and snorkelling and hiking.

“I have met cool, interesting people from all over the world since I got here in 2007. It’s like a melting pot.”

It is common in Hawaii to make friends instantly, she says.

“No matter what, I feel that Hawaii has the welcoming and loving spirit like no other places. It is the Aloha spirit. I have so much love and respect for the island.”

Branded in the buff

Buckle up, there is no messing around with a singing cowboy who is firmly in the saddle with no thoughts of hanging up his boots any time soon.

ROBERT Burck has little modesty, that’s for sure. On his website, he calls himself an American legend and a New York City icon who has had photographs taken of him at a rate of about 8,000 snapshots an hour.
But he has surely earned the right to be immodest. As the Naked Cowboy of Times Square where he performs, wearing nothing but briefs and a cowboy hat, his fame was sealed once again when news about him suing a copy-cat busker was reported last month throughout the world from South Africa to New Zealand.
Burck is no ordinary busker. His “career” has grown leaps and sounds since he branded himself about 10 years ago as the Naked Cowboy.
Now, he has a manager and his Naked Cowboy Enterprises focuses on licensing stuff “from Naked Cowboy oysters to Naked Cowboy merchandising” to image licensing.And there is always hope to develop a TV show or to become a screen actor, said Todd Rubenstein, who has been Burck’s manager since 2007.
“It is now basically about staying focused on building the brand and growing its value,” he said in an e-mail.
Which explains why former stripper Sandy Kane got a a cease-and-desist letter when she persisted in busking at Times Square wearing only a bikini and a cowboy hat. It was, apparently, an infringement of the Naked Cowboy trademark.
“We have been trying, in a friendly manner, to get Sandy to participate legally when she first came on the scene about two and a half years ago,” said Rubenstein.
Kane had refused to sign a franchise agreement drawn up by the Naked Cowboy Enterprises. It is a nine-page deal which requires signatories to pay US$5,000 (RM16,100) a year or US$500 (RM1,610) a month, besides a 20% royalty fee of any appearance arranged by the company.(Kane was quoted in press reports saying that she did not owe Burck anything. “I’ve been naked for years,” she reportedly said.)
Being the Naked Cowboy, clearly, is damn serious business.
Two years ago, he sued a candy manufacturer for trademark infringement when it put up two billboards in Times Square which depicted a cartoon character in the likeness of the Naked Cowboy image.
The case was eventually settled although news reports then noted that the terms were not disclosed.
Burck, who has a degree in political science, also announced last year that he wanted to run for mayor of New York City. His campaign tagline? “Nobody has done more with less.”
But his political ambition was shortlived as he quit the race when the red tape in launching a political campaign became too overbearing for him.
According to a report in The New York Times on Sept 4 last year, a financial disclosure form which he filed as part of a campaign requirement listed his job as a “travelling entertainer” who earned an income of between US$100,000 (RM322,350) and US$250,000 (RM805,800) in 2008.
Clearly, his job has its moments.
“One time, he took a shower with two beautiful naked women in the middle of Times Square as part of a promotion,” Rubenstein said.
Asked whether Burck gets propositioned or harrassed by women, he said: “Hundreds of times per day.”
The 39-year-old Burck, however, has been “in a relationship with the same woman for five years.” She has three children.
Rubenstein noted that Burck faces occupational hazards as well in the past decade as the Naked Cowboy.
“Once, a man stopped his car in the middle of the street, jumped out, ran up to Robert, said nothing and punched him in the face.”
The Naked Cowboy also had to deal with psychopaths, jealousy and dog bites, Rubenstein said. He mentioned terrorist threats, too, likely in reference to the May 1 car bomb attempt at Times Square.
Burck, according to his website, claims to read about 50 books a year.
Asked about the best tip he had ever received, Rubenstein replied:
“Someone suggested that he read self-help author Anthony Robbins’ Unlimited Power: The New Science Of Personal Achievement.”
That book, he said, changed his life completely.
But aren’t there days when Burck doesn’t feel like coming out to sing?
“Robert Burck is Naked Cowboy every single day, for the most part,” Rubenstein said. He said Burck held firm to the 3Ds – discipline, diligence and determination.
“Every day can provide a reason not to work but those thoughts must be overcome.”
As Burck’s manager, he gets asked all the time all sorts of questions about the Naked Cowboy.
The common ones are: Does he ever leave New York? How does he do it in the winter/snow?
Is he available for (event)?
Apparent, Burck is also a registered marriage officiant which explains why his website invites couples to be married by the Naked Cowboy in ceremonies priced at US$499 (RM1,607) and above.
As for Rubenstein, he loves being Burck’s manager.
“I work with many celebrities for years. There isn’t a more unique circumstance that covers as many different opportunities as Naked Cowboy’s,” he said.
“The best part about working with Naked Cowboy is: He is the first person I’ve met that works as diligently as I do (and more so) on his career.”
Yee-hah!

Love lost and found

JOHN Bowe, a New York-based writer and journalist, spent two years scouring all corners of the United States to hear what his fellow Americans thought about romance.
He wanted to know their love stories – with “dream boats” or “train wrecks” – so all the interviewees were asked to talk about the person whom they had loved most.Backed by a team, the project began with a mass e-mail which eventually led to hundreds of conversations being recorded. The outcome was Us: Americans Talk About Love, a compilation of 44 humorous and poignant personal testimonies on love.
“There are so many good moments, funny lines, inspiring or horrible stories,” said Bowe in an e-mail interview.
Take, for instance, a feisty 80-year-old woman in New Mexico who made no bones about how she felt about Clyde, her first husband, who was a womaniser and alchoholic:
“I remember the day – this was years after we had divorced – my daughter called me and said: ‘I know you don’t care, but Clyde had a heart attack and died when he was out jogging.’ And I thought: ‘Son of a b****, I’ll never be able to run him over.’”
Then, there were the elderly Gerd and Dina Kohler who discovered each other when their spouses were having an affair together.They divorced their cheating partners, became friends, and eventually got hitched to one another. They have been married for 28 years.
“We thank (Gina’s) ex-husband every day. Actually, every year on the divorce date, we send him a thank-you note,” said Gerd, 66.
Throughout interviews like these, Bowe discovered that each person’s voice had a different music and cadence to it.“And capturing that is just as important to me as what is being said. It’s like if you write an ex-girlfriend a three-page letter saying you are over her, versus an e-mail that’s 15 words long. Three pages says you still have time for her, but 15 words say you have other things to do!”
A contributor to The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, Bowe, who has two other books to his credit, decided to jot down the love stories of Americans when his own relationship broke down.
“I had fallen in love with someone for the first time in a decade, and love was very much on my mind,” said Bowe, 45.
He had previously written about modern slavery and bad labour conditions in the United States and “wanted to do something to restore my spirits.”
His latest book was therapeutic for him.
“You get a better idea of things that work and don’t work, and when you see how many ways there are to make love work, it’s very reassuring,” he added.
But it was not an entirely easy thing to listen to Americans describe their love, longing or pain.
“When one man said that God had put a woman in his life, I had to ask: ‘Does that just mean you wanted to have sex with her, or what?’” Bowe said.
The man replied that he had wanted to have sex with different women “but with this woman, when I felt that way, it came with an intense feeling of peace.”
Love, Bowe concluded, remained a puzzle. “The only thing that matters is that you and your partner are true to your own goals.”
He learned that the couples who did well were those with a shared goal.
“The main thing is that they are pursuing a shared vision of how to live life.
“I think this sustains people more than simply relying upon one’s personality to make another person happy for a lifetime.”
Us: Americans Talk About Love has received relatively good reviews in the United States.
The New York Times ran a flattering description of Bowe, whom the report described as “a perpetual bachelor” with all the requisites of being a Mr Oh-So-Right, ripe for the picking.
Bowe was swamped by hundreds of e-mail messages when the story came out in January. Women offered to meet him or to play the matchmaker.
“I have no problem with the idea of meeting someone on the Internet. But to me, that felt strange and uncomfortable. I guess I prefer to meet people in real life,” said Bowe (whom, incidentally, is a foodie who enjoys rendang and sambal belacan.)
Most of the e-mail were, thus, left unread.
So, what does Bowe the bachelor have to say about being single in Manhattan?
“Umm ... since a large number of attractive men in New York are gay, it is very easy for bachelors, if they are not fat, to bed a lot of beautiful women,” he quipped.
However, it would be much harder for people to mate and create a life together, he said.
“The smart ones move away from the city in order to do that. Otherwise, there are too many distractions. It’s like the Internet; there’s always someone new knocking on your door.”
Bowe stressed that he was no Dr Love or Agony Aunt, despite publishing the book. “I could never pretend to be an expert on love,” he said.

Diversity is no barrier to unity

Malaysia would seem to have nothing in common with Nashville but this city of country music has hit a high note on religious diversity in a case that would resonate in any multi-racial country.

ON a cold February day, a Nashville mosque was vandalised with a chilling message “Muslims Go Home” splayed out in red paint on its wall.
It was a hate crime that shattered the community which had so far faced little trouble in this Tennessee city known for its country music.
Hell did not break loose, though.
Instead, the Somali congregation found an outpouring of support from people of all stripes – from Nashville mayor Karl Dean to the Jewish community to a lorry driver who wanted to help clean up the graffiti.
“Our mayor literally dropped everything and rushed there,” said Kasar Abdullah, who is advocacy and education director of Tennessee Immigrant & Refugee Rights Coalition.
That incident, she said, brought out the true face of the community.
“The reaction was fabulous,” she said.
“There was tremendous backing from native Nashvillians who support Muslims being here,” said Kasar, who was just six when her family fled Kurdistan and arrived in Nashville in 1996.
Nashville, which has a 600,000-strong population, has seen an influx ing of immigrants especially Muslims in the past decade. It also has the largest Kurdish community in the United States.
A graduate of Tennessee State University, Kasar who is married and has a two-year-old daughter spoke candidly to a group of Asian journalists during their visit to Nashville organised by the Honolulu-based East-West Center recently.
(The trip was part of a three-week seminar on “Bridging Gaps Between the United States and the Muslim World”.)
Kasar blamed the hate crimes on local leaders who used fear tactics, citing a politician who is running for Congress on an anti-Syariah platform and whose campaign focused on immigration and English as the official language.
Also, the media, in seeking high ratings, ran reports that caused tension among the people, she said.
“There have been numerous articles in the local media that are raising negative feelings.”
A TV channel, for instance, carried a broadcast about a Muslim community in Tennessee that was supposedly a terrorist training compound and dubbed it “Islamville”.
It subsequently found no such training camp “but the damage had been done,” said Kasar.
She also spoke about local hate groups which had held meetings and press conferences to accuse Islam of being a “religion of jihad”.
Still, Kasar loves being in the United States.
“I am glad to be here. This is where I learned what Islam really is instead of what I am expected to do by my culture,” she said.
She cited the Kurdish culture where women did not wear the hijab until they were married.
Kasar started wearing the veil after 9/11.
“There was a battle in my own family who did not want me to put it on. A lot of my Muslim friends took it off after 9/11.”
She persisted in covering her head, thinking: “I am a Muslim; I can be successful; there is freedom of choice in Islam.”
So who are the American Muslims?
Magali Rheault, Gallup Poll senior consultant, said they were the most racially diverse group in the United States.
Muslim converts
“African-Americans, mostly converts, form the biggest group (35%),” she said during a talk on “Muslim Americans: A National Portrait” in Washington DC.
The statistics were derived from a study by The Muslim West Facts Project released last year which interviewed 319,751 adults.
It found 70% of Muslim Americans reported being employed, out of which at least 30% had a professional job.
Most Muslim Americans are young, too, compared to believers of other faiths. They have the highest proportion of adults between the ages of 18 and 29.
“9/11 really put Islam on the radar screen of Americans,” Rheault said.
Asked about Muslim converts among American youths, she said: “I don’t have the research on this but I think Islam’s concept of peace and brotherhood appealed to a lot people.”
Still, an analysis on “Religious Perceptions in America” by the Gallup World Religion Survey found that 53% of Americans admitted that their opinion of Islam was either “not too favourable” or “not favourable at all”.
Most of them also said they had little knowledge of Islam and another 43% admitted to feeling at least “a little prejudice” against Muslims.
But attitudes have gradually changed over the years.
Lana Lockhart-Ezzeir, a Louisiana native who converted to Islam 22 years ago while still in college, recalled the stares when she wore the hijab back then.
“When I first became a Muslim, the hardest part was putting on the hijab. Now when you walk around here in Nashville, you would hardly get a glance for wearing one. You see the hijab all the time, in Walmart and everywhere else,” she said.
“America,” she added, “is a home of immigrants. If people tell you to go home, you can say the same thing to them.”
Things are not entirely smooth sailing, however.
Her son once came back from school and told her that his friends had remarked to him that “you’re going to hell because you don’t believe in Jesus.”
As a social worker, Lockhart-Ezzeir is now helping young Muslims acculturate through a girl scout movement in Nashville, where she and her Palestinian husband have been living since 1994.
A Somali mother, whose child is in the scout movement, said: “I don’t worry about what people think anymore. I don’t care if they think I have a machete under my veil.”
Having lived peacefully in the United States since 1974, she refused to see discrimination or stereotypes.
“If you want to find hate, that is what you would find.”
Life, indeed, has its sweet ironies.
Another Nashville mosque, which was burned in 2008, is now operating from another building that was once a church.
“About 40% of the donations given to us after the attack came from Christians, Jews and other non-Muslims,” said Daoud Abudiab, president of the Islamic Centre of Columbia.
Three men have been convicted for painting swastikas on the mosque and throwing Molotov cocktails at it. Last month, one the offenders was sentenced to 15 years’ jail.
Daoud acknowledged that there had been greater hostility since 9/11.
“But after the fire in the mosque, I received so many calls from local groups and churches denouncing the attack and encouraging us to rebuild.”
The FBI and the Government, he said, had done very well also.
“We did not see the fire as a tragedy but a good way to open up communication.”
But his relatives in Palestine and Dubai did ask him to pack up and leave.
He chose to stay.
“This is our home, our town. I feel welcomed here.”

Still, there’s no place like home

IT’S a bright morning in Brooklyn’s Bensonhurst neighbourhood but there is no place in the sun for the group of faceless men standing by the roadside, waiting for work that isn’t coming any time soon.
For these illegal immigrants, congregating at street corners is a daily ritual of hope and despair as they wait for prospective employers who want temporary or day labourers.
The minute a van stops, they would scramble towards it, pleading: “Take me! Take me!”
Their English limited, most of them would grab any jobs that are thrown their way.
“They would be there waiting every day, whether in winter or summer,” a Brooklyn resident observed. “Sometimes you wonder whether their lives are any worse back home.”
Life is a battlefield for them. For those who are employed, it isn’t uncommon for them to hold two jobs, working seven days a week, like Jose M., who juggles his time waiting on tables in two restaurants.
He cycles to work, rain or shine, a journey that takes 45 minutes. Once, a road accident put him out of action for about a week but he did not seek medical help since he was without health insurance.
The Centre for Immigration Studies has found that one in eight people in the US is an immigrant. The undocumented ones numbered about 11 million last year.
Most of the recent immigrants came from Mexico. Official statistics show that 64% of Hispanic-origin people in the US have a Mexican background.
(At 15% of the US population, the Hispanics are the largest minority group in the US. Mexico is the only country which has a larger Hispanic population than the US.)
In 2007, Mexicans who worked in the US remitted about US$24bil (RM89bil) to their families back home.
But a chat with Mexicans on their home soil found that they do not necessarily see this as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
“We depend too much on America,” said Ricardo Salazar, a tour guide for the past decade in Mexico City, the sprawling capital that is inhabited by 20 million people.
Still, he understood why his fellow countrymen opted to seek their fortunes in their neighbouring nation.
“A factory job in Mexico City offers just about 2,000 pesos (RM494) a month,” he said, “so they prefer to work at construction sites in America where the hourly wages are better.” These workers, he said, would save up and send money to their loved ones so that they could own a house upon returning home.
He would not want to work in the US, though. “It’s a racist country,” he said, “and it isn’t easy to get a visa.”
He prefers his chilli-loving Mexico. “We start eating chillies at the age of two,” he smiled. “My stomach is very strong.”
Mexico is not a poor country, according to Geraldo Ramirez Escobar, who works at a public information kiosk near Chapultepec Park.
“There is a lot of money here,” he said in halting English, “but the blame lies with the leaders and politicians.”
Most people, he said, found it difficult to secure jobs in the city.
Escobar counts himself lucky. An economics graduate in 2006, he got his current position (“my first formal job”) not too long ago.
Most employers, he said, preferred people with working experience. “But how can I have experience if they don’t start hiring me?”
Escobar said he had plans for his future, perhaps starting projects that would help his fellow citizens. “I still have a lot of hope for Mexico,” he said.
Joel Rocha, his co-worker, was also not too keen on the Promised Land. “It’s just another country. To me, there is no First World, no Third World.”
Neither was he swept away by US president Barack Obama, whose inauguration, according to news reports, was watched by countless people in Mexico City, some shedding tears.
“I don’t know much about him. He is not my president. All I know about him is what I read in the papers or watch on TV,” he said. “But I do hope he will make a difference.”
Others such as A. Martinez decided to say “hola” to Mexico again after 20 years slogging it out in California, the Golden State that is home to 13 million Hispanics.
Now 50-plus and fluent in English, Martinez is often summoned by his boss to take care of the non-Spanish speaking diners who come to the restaurant where he works.
Why did he decide to pack his bags and head back home?
“Why?” he asked in return, appearing somewhat incredulous that the question should be asked at all.
“I love Mexico,” he said simply. “This is my country.”

This is Yee Ping’s last story from New York. She is now back at our Petaling Jaya office.

You are never lonely

FRED Ng is a bachelor who has lived in New York for almost four years. A Singaporean transferred by his financial services company to work in Manhattan, Ng, 31, loves going out for coffee with his friends and enjoys solitary walks in the park during his days off.
He stays in a small studio apartment in downtown Manhattan, all by himself.
But Ng isn’t alone as he has 31 million people for company. That is the number of people who live alone in the United States, according to a 2007 survey by the US Census Bureau.
Even in crowded and sometimes claustrophobic New York City where people are everywhere, statistics from the Department of City Planning showed that one out of every two apartments in Manhattan is occupied by just one individual.
But don’t start playing Are You Lonesome Tonight to folks like Ng.
Manhatttan, according to New York magazine, is the capital of people living by themselves. The magazine ran a cover story on “The Loneliness Myth” two months ago, quoting studies which showed that New York is among “the least lonely places on earth”.
This metropolitan of eight million inhabitants is on Forbes’ list of Best Cities for Singles, ranking Number 8 out of 40.
Its nightlife is unmatched, according to Forbes, besides its cool factor. But the unbearable cost of living pushed it out as head of the class. (Atlanta is tops, by the way).
The culturally diverse New York, according to Ng, offers wide opportunities to meet people and make friends.
“People who feel alienated here are probably shy or haven’t met the right clique yet,” he said. “Life in the city lacks a sense of community that you find in a small town.”
For the timid ones, New York is daunting.
“New Yorkers tend to be rather loud with a in-your-face attitude. They lack patience if they feel that people are wasting their time in things they don’t care about,” Ng said.
Heidi Smith, a 20-something Californian who moved to New York several months ago, said Gotham would intimidate those without a good support system.
“For me, I am worried about slipping on ice and breaking my leg,” she quipped, referring to the snowy days in New York.
Smith, who teaches in an elementary school, said her friends felt she was crazy to move to New York as the weather was harsher in the Empire State.
“But people here are nice, though I would like to think that Californians are very friendly. Over there, people would get more angry if you are rude to them.”
New York, she said, could be both scary and fun for outsiders.
However, Smith does not intend to stay in New York for the long term. “That’s not my plan. There are other places that I want to live in.”
During Unmarried and Single Americans Week from Sept 21 to 28 last year, the Census Bureau released facts and figures which showed that there were 92 million unmarried Americans aged 18 and older in 2006.
Another batch of numbers in 2004 indicated that 50% of adults in New York are unmarried, the highest among all the states.
Ng, for example, is a staunch believer that New York is a great place for singles.
“There are all sorts of venues for meeting other people, no matter what type of personality you may have,” he said.
“For example, the clubbing scene is always vibrant for party-goers, and there are world-class institutions for the culturally-inclined such as the Metropolitan Museum of Art.”
Speed dating is available for people of all stripes whether single professionals, Jewish, Muslims or Christians. Here in hurry, hurry New York, there are even events called Date and Dash Speed Dating Party.
On New Year’s Eve, there was the gay and lesbian black tie royal ball.
Ng, however, described himself as an introvert who preferred solitude.
His American colleagues are fantastic. “I have a good rapport and working relationship with them, but I don’t usually hang out with them.”
He loves the bookstores and the countless cafes in the city. “I mostly confine myself within the Buddhist circle,” he said.
“I won’t call myself a social butterfly,” he joked, “but people tend to think that the singles here are party goers who come home drunk at 2am, if they come back to their own homes at all.”
Another misconception, he said, was that Americans would “sleep with anything that moves”.
“I don’t miss not being part of the wild side,” he said. “It was never my scene.”
Besides his full-time IT support job, Ng is taking up a course on Information Systems Management at New York University.
That leaves almost no time for dating. “With my work and part-time study at NYU, the only dates I go for are the ones in Whole Foods Market. They are all organic, so it is a healthy relationship,” he said in jest.
What does he do when the occasional loneliness creeps in?
“I either hit the gym or go for long walks in the parks or along the Hudson River. Sometimes I harass my friends to go out,” he said. “If loneliness hits me hard enough, I lapse into a coma.”

Big Apple woos the lovestruck

THE King has been forewarned. New York is sounding the warning bells to Las Vegas as it seeks to become the prime wedding destination of the world, dethroning Sin City famous for its Elvis weddings.
The Manhattan Marriage Bureau went through a US$12mil (RM43mil) overhaul to provide speedy and friendly service to couples applying for marriage licences.
It opened last month at a new location with a much larger space. Facilities include 14 computer kiosks for online applications, chapel space and a store that sells flowers, disposable cameras and wedding bands.
Applicants are also able to communicate with clerks on a telephone interpretation system that offers a choice of 170 languages.
(A US census a decade ago found that English is not the main language spoken in almost 50% of New York City households. It is estimated that 170 foreign languages are spoken in the Big Apple).
But stars such as Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Bruce Willis, Carmen Electra and even Elvis, the King of Rock and Roll, have all exchanged vows in Las Vegas, so why shouldn’t you?
“Think of New York City as the classier version of eloping to Las Vegas,” said Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of The Knot (theknot.com), a popular online reference for couples searching for wedding planning solutions.
The Knot is linking hands with the city’s marketing arm to draw up wedding packages for couples intending to get hitched at the bureau.
“It is already one of the world’s most exciting, romantic destinations,” she said in an email interview.
“Tie the knot at the new marriage bureau here, and you will be on your honeymoon by the time you say ‘I do’!”
The Manhattan Marriage Bureau, located at 141 Worth Street in Lower Manhattan, opened its doors on Jan 12.
“New York City is already a legendary location to tie the knot, but this new location will give customers an even better, smoother experience that is more enjoyable and more memorable,” said First Deputy Mayor Patricia E. Harris, who was in charge of the renovations.
Las Vegas, however, has an edge over the city which supposedly never sleeps.
The Las Vegas Downtown Office Marriage Bureau opens daily including holidays from 8am to midnight, a great convenience for couples who develop a sudden urge for that piece of paper.
Statistics show that New York City issued just about 66,600 marriage licences in 2007 compared with 107,000 given out in Nevada’s Clark County, which includes Las Vegas.
But that number, according to the local Fox5 News in Las Vegas, was the lowest in a decade.
“Some people blame the marriage licensing office for not being open 24 hours. Another reason is the negative publicity the industry has received over the past few months.”
What’s bad news to Vegas is good news to New York, which is home to the Empire State Building, the great symbol of love for those swept up by Cary Grant’s An Affair To Remember.
In fact, the current economic meltdown has not stopped couples from toasting to love.
“Brides are still planning glamourous weddings, although they are being very smart about how they spend every penny,” Dolgin said.
The average cost of an American wedding is US$28,000 (RM101,000) but Dolgin said that many of the year’s top trends reflected new, chic ways to save on the big occasion.
“For example, there is the do-it-yourself (DIY) wedding details,” she said. “The spend-savvy bride is the smart bride. The crafty bride is even smarter.
“Using amazing resources all over the Internet, brides are making their own bouquets, save-the-dates, wedding programmes, seating charts and more.
“And when they can’t DIY, they head to Etsy.com for deals from other DIYers.” Etsy is an online marketplace for all things handmade.
According to Dolgin, The Knot has detected two trends in wedding receptions.
For one, “green weddings” are getting glamourous and more affordable, naturally.
This would mean Internet invitations (paper free), besides serving food and using flowers that are in season.
“These wedding trends are not only eco-chic, but also easier on the budget,” she said.
Another trend, she said, was opting for small, romantic ceremonies.
“Up the romance and drop the tab,” she said.
“Have your ceremony with only your nearest and dearest and save your money for the reception.”
“You can get hitched for just US$60 (RM217) [US$35 (RM126) to obtain the licence and US$25 (RM90) fee for the civil marriage ceremony].
“Then throw a raucous yet less-expensive-than-a-full-blown-reception cocktail party later in the year.”

Tearing into Wall Street

WHILE President Barack Obama stewed over Wall Street’s US$18bil (RM65bil) bonuses, the average American has long felt nothing but scorn for what is largely considered the source of the people’s misery.
A California-based company has been marketing T-shirts with messages such as “Investment Bankers – The New Al-Qaeda” and “Wall Street – Weapon of Mass Destruction”.
Its website, zazzle.com, also says: “Mr Obama, tear down this Wall $treet”.
Another website sells T-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination: “I Hate Investment Banking”.
These days, “I Hate Wall Street” T-shirts are the rage and the public anger isn’t fading away any time soon.
Fact to chew on: median household income in the US is less than half the average Wall Street bonus of US$112,000.
American consumers have lost their swagger; their unbridled spending is history now.
Frugality is in. The despair of losing their jobs is among the factors that drove the rate of personal savings the past few months to its highest level in six years.
The news gets gloomier by the day.
It has been a rocky ride into the Year of the Ox as US companies cut at least 100,000 jobs last week; and Macy’s, which prides itself as the world’s largest store, laid off 7,000 employees.
Macy’s, however, is largely middle-class America. The swanky stores such as Bergdorf Goodman tell of a different kind of belt-tightening.
“I’m switching from having my facials and massages in a wine-serving yoga spa to a been-in-business-forever place that only old people and gay men go to,” said a 40-something woman, known only as Cathy.
“I’ll do it once every six weeks instead of monthly, and it is one-third the price of the facials at the spa.”
Cathy made the public admission through a blog called Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA), which is devoted to women whose relationships have been affected by the economic slump.
“Are you or someone you love dating a banker? If so, we are here to support you through these difficult times,” DABA (www.dabagirls.com) says in its introduction.
DABA, in essence, is a place for “women who like to date successful men and anonymously dish on it”.
The blog gained attention last week when it was featured in The New York Times. DABA women who gathered occasionally as a support group, shared how the men in their life were always checking their “Black-Berry, Bloomberg and CNBC”, how they were told to forget about expensive dinners and holidays, and that even bedroom habits had changed.
Another woman resorted to checking the daily stock market performance to gauge her man’s mood.
But such a sisterhood gains no sympathy from some people.
“I hope each woman who attends these meetings remains single and unwanted when this economy goes through its eventual recovery,” Brown, a male banker wrote to the NYT. When he was single, he said, he would not mention his career to a woman or spend more than US$100 on a date until he really knew her.
A female reader said: “After reading this, I am ashamed of being a woman. Whatever happened to being proud of supporting yourself?
“You’re not going to get a date now that everyone knows all you are good for is the swiping of someone else’s credit card.”
Amber Chia, Malaysia’s own top model who has been wooed by men made of money, has this take on the subject.
“When you love someone, you accept the bad times as well as the good,” says Chia, who is in New York to attend acting classes at the New York Film Academy.
Here in Gotham, Chia says she prefers to shop at factory outlets where the merchandise is cheaper.
“I buy everything with my own money.”
The 27-year-old actress and model recalled being propositioned by someone with a diamond ring and how, during an assignment in Indonesia, she met businessmen who tried becoming suitors.
But it was a “no, thank you” from Chia.
“I’m happy with my life and my work. I don’t need so much money because when you are too wealthy, there’s another set of problems,” says Chia, whose 11-year relationship with her boyfriend ended two years ago.
The modelling industry back home had not been spared by the financial meltdown, she says. Fees per show for models have been slashed by up to 50% and fashion shows which previously hired almost 50 models would now only take about 20.
Chia, however, has always believed in saving for a rainy day.
“Especially now that I am back to being a student,” she says. “I have no income now. I take the subway or just walk if I can, instead of taking a taxi.”
But DABA girls believe in humour, too.
“If your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life, lighten your heart with laughter,” says the blog, which was started by two young women “whose relationships tanked with the economy”.

Making a killing from courtroom dramas

HE isn’t hotter than Harry Potter, but for a man who has 235 million books in print, John Grisham has become platinum standard for fans of legal thrillers.
The latest from this Arkansas-born storyteller has an initial print of 2.5 million copies. Movie rights for The Associate, which made its debut on Tuesday, have already been sold to Paramount Pictures, with actor Shia LaBeouf in the title role.“I used to be Number One but then came Harry Potter. I really miss being Number One,” he deadpanned during a Tuesday appearance at a crowd­­­ed Barnes & Noble in Man­hattan to promote The Associate, a story set in New York, which Grisham described as a city that he had always loved but never featured in his previous books.
He produces a novel almost every year, always having about two or three ideas in his mind for the next book, mostly from stealing ideas everywhere.
“We all steal, that’s what we do,” he joked.
But there isn’t much sex in his writings because, according to his wife (in a previous TV interview), “he doesn’t know much about it”.
“I don’t know why she answered that way. It wasn’t necessary at all,” he said, poker-faced again.
Once he wrote something which he felt was erotic and raunchy, but his wife, who reads quite a lot of other naughty stuff, just “howled with laughter” after reading it.
He runs by his story ideas to his wife all the time. “If I can’t pitch it to her in about three sentences, I’m in trouble.”
To start on a book, Grisham has an outline for each chapter as he wants to know how the story goes.
“The more time I spend on the outline, the easier it gets, but sometimes I get lazy. If I don’t know the ending, I won’t start on it.”
But he admitted to not spending much time on characterisation. “I just want people to pick up my book and spend all night reading it, skipping work.”
He taught himself on what works and what won’t. Reading bad books, he said, reminds him not to write likewise.
Grisham remembered his early days as a small-town Mississippi lawyer always hanging around the court as he did not have too many clients.
One day, he listened to the testimony of a 10-year-old rape victim. “It was an emotional train wreck for all us in the courtroom. She took us through every emotion that a person could have,” he recalled.
When the court took a recess, Grisham left. Then he remembered that he had left his briefcase there.
He returned and, walking past the defendant, a thought came to him. Had he been the girl’s father, “just give me a gun, I could easily do it”.
“How many of you can convict me of something you would want to do yourself?” he asked himself. “It was a father’s revenge, a retribution.”
With that, an author was born, and A Time To Kill was published in 1988. “I wasn’t thinking about money or a career,” he said, “I just wanted a story told.”
By then, he had been severely bitten by the writing bug and decided that he had enough of a secret hobby.
The 54-year-old author spends six months every year writing, typing on the same computer that produced the 18 books he had written so far.
He believes the “insatiable appetite” for courtroom dramas and scandals has been the key to his commercial success.
“We have always enjoyed books and TV shows about lawyers. It’s ingrained in our DNA,” he said.
What does he do in the other six months? “People ask me that all the time,” he said, “but I really don’t know.”
Grisham shows little love for his critics. “Most of them have a manuscript in their drawer which can’t get published.”
Life, he said, is easier if you ignore the critics. The great thing about writing, he said, “is that you don’t have to retire”.
“I can’t say when I will quit. I’m always looking for something to write, I’m always looking for something to steal and then turn it over to my hyper creative imagination.”
Movie versions of The Firm, The Client and The Pelican Brief (he likes simple titles) came out within a year of the books being published.
“I write them that way. My books read like a movie.”
With all his wealth now, Grisham spoke of building schools in Kenya, health projects in Brazil and non-profit work to fight social injustice in the United States, because his heart remains in the law.
“The way the laws are abused in this country, the way we implement the death penalty, is absurd. These hot button issues really get to me.”
He is on the board of directors of Innocence Project, whose mission is to help prisoners who could be proven innocent through DNA tests. “To date, 232 people in the US have been exonerated by DNA testing, including 17 who served time on death row.”
A Time To Kill will always be special to him because it was his first book. “And there was no deadline to finish it,” he said.
Another favourite is A Painted House, drawn from his childhood in rural Arkansas, and “there is a lot of family history there”.
“I have received more than I can dream of,” he said of his success. “This is the icing on the cake.”

Selling on the presidental dream

YES, you can. So said Harry Winston, the preferred jewellers of celebrities walking the red carpet in La-La Land.
With that Obama-inspired tagline, the ultra-luxury brand advertised on Wednesday a diamond ring that cost at least US$25,000, or RM90,100. As for Brooks Brothers, which was established in 1818, it boasted about its most famous customer, Abraham Lincoln, who wore an overcoat by the label during his second inauguration in 1865.
“Inspired by our past, we look toward the future,” the clothing line declared a day after the presidential inauguration in an advertisement billed “One Country, One Destiny”.
Dunkin’ Donuts proclaimed on TV that “You kin’ do it”; Movado, the Swiss luxury watchmaker, congratulated Americans for “a time of pride, promise and hope”.
Politics has been inspirational to Madison Avenue, the oft-used term for the US ad industry, and the newly-minted president has been good for business.
At Union Station, the historic Washington DC train station which is just a short walk from the Capitol Building, stalls have sprung up focusing solely on Obama memorabilia. Some stores have catchy names such as Making History, Life on Capitol Hill, and President Cigars.
Life-size cardboard cut-outs of Barack Obama are on almost every corner.
And for just US$20 (RM72), one makeshift photography shop would juxtapose your image with that of Obama’s; both of you in a pose that makes it appear as though you and the 44th US president are best friends.
Jan 20 was a happy, happy day for those Americans who believed that theirs was a Promised Land once more.
“I was in depression for eight years until Nov 4 last year,” said New Yorker N. Robinson, currently unemployed, referring to Obama’s victory in the election.
One cafe in mid-town Manhattan handed out free coffee between 10.44am and 1.44pm on Tuesday as a toast to the new commander-in-chief.
For husband-and-wife team Matt and Delia Paine, the post-inauguration period meant that they could finally take a break after working 16 to 18 hours a day for the past three months.
Delia, an artist, has a hugely successful business of making Obama buttons that have been worn by high-powered Democrats such as Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House of Representatives and second in line to the presidency.
The couple opened a kiosk in Union Station throughout this month, next to another stand that was also selling keepsakes of the first black president. Obama sandals, anyone?
“We brought 10,000 Obama keychains, buttons, zipper pulls and refrigerator magnets for our one-month duration here,” said 39-year-old Matt who is in the construction business.
Originally from Oregon, they relocated to Washington DC just for this occasion and brought along their two school-going children.
Business was great and orders came from other countries, too, after they were featured by news provider AP.
The consumerism of Obama led to one news report in The New York Times observing that “hope does not come free, and change will cost you”.
Still, Obama’s inspiring words have continued to stir Americans everywhere.
For 57-year-old Augusta Ogden, the inaugural speech completely overwhelmed her as she stood watching the ceremony in Times Square on Tuesday.
She wept when Obama spoke about forefathers who “packed up their few worldly possessions and travelled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and ploughed the hard earth. For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh”.
“Those were my ancestors he was talking about,” Ogden, an artiste manager, said. “I’m proud to be here. We have faith again. Finally, the light in America has returned.”
Marketing manager Andre Spelbrink, a Dutch who has lived in New York for 25 years, was charmed by Obama’s message.
“He appealed to everyone to stand together although that can be a tough thing to do. But of course Obama put it in a much better way!” (With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come.)
“It’s good to hear from a US president who can speak well,” Spelbrink said.
Most presidential inaugural addresses have not been very memorable, according to historian Donald Kennon. His favourite was Lincoln’s second inaugural speech when he said:
“With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan – to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves, and with all nations.”
During the presidential race the Obama campaign frequently sent out personalised e-mails to supporters that were signed “Barack Obama”.
On Wednesday, an e-mail came again. “Thank you for being part of the most open inauguration in our nation’s history.”
It went on to say that work had started on remaking America. “Our journey is just beginning. Thank you for all you do.”
(signed) President Barack Obama.